Know your Foe – Ohio State 2009

No matter how much I wanted to avoid it, here we go. Each game is a little more painful. Unlike the traditional old school rivalry we have come to adore -- this game is just another step in the brutal task of program rebuilding. Each year that passes takes a little more luster of the rivalry. If I could call "UNCLE" I would. It isn't good to either school to suck as bad as we do now. Anyway, here is everything you would ever want to know about the angry mob of poorly behaved mouth-breathers from down south.

History: The school was founded as The Ohio Agricultural and Mechanical College in 1870 under the ever popular Morrill Act. Later that year, the first group of twenty-four students, including three women started attending classes. Like most land-grant schools of the era, an internal battle erupted to determine the mission of the school. On one side was the "narrow gauge" crowd, looking to teach subjects strictly related to agriculture and mechanical functions. On the other side was the "broad gauge" crowd looking for a more diversified curriculum that included liberal arts and sciences. As was the case in almost all of these land grant school battles the “broad gauge” side won. In 1878 in light of its expanded focus, the college permanently changed its name to "The Ohio State University".

But that wasn't the only battle for OSU, they were also under fire from other schools within the state of Ohio. Both Miami University and Ohio University were older and more prestigious institutions at the time -- and they were upset they were not selected as THE state university and the recipient of government allocations. Former US President Rutherford B. Hayes lobbied hard for monies for Ohio State and basically browbeat the institution into it's prominent position above the other schools. By 1906, the state legislature had enough of the fighting. They settled the issue by declaring Ohio State as the only school that would be allowed to offer bachelor through doctoral degrees. Miami and OhioU would be limited to Bachelor and Masters Programs.

Location: The school is located in Columbus, Ohio, the capital city positioned in the middle of the state. The city is named after the lost explorer and father of new world genocide -- Columbus is the largest city in the state of Ohio. Many find that surprising because the cities of Cleveland and Cincinnati are more well known and home to major league sports teams.

Nickname: They call themselves the Buckeyes. The Buckeye is the official state tree and a creative term of endearment for the pioneers on the Ohio frontier. Apparently one of the first acts of the original settlers was to cut down one of these stinky trees down and they’ve called themselves buckeyes since. The leaves appear in a five-leaf cluster, and the fruit (nut) resembles the eye of a deer, thus the name: buck-eye. As I have stated in the past, the nut is poisonous and should not be consumed by humans or cattle. Regardless of the danger, Ohio State fans love their buckeyes – and it is a very common sight to see them on game days wearing them around their neck as ridiculous tribal necklaces.

Mascot: In 1965 Ohio State students Ray Bourhis and Sally Huber decided Ohio State needed a “game day” mascot and persuaded the athletic council to study the matter. At the time, mascots were commonly live animals brought into the stadium or arena. A buck deer was contemplated but that idea was eventually rejected given the impossible logistics of keeping a deer calm in a large crowd. Instead, a simple (yet heavy) paper-maché buckeye nut was constructed by students and worn over the head and torso, with legs sticking out.

They named him Brutus Buckeye. He made its initial appearance at the 1965 homecoming football game against Minnesota. The heavy costume did not last long and it was soon replaced by a more permanent and durable fiberglass shell. Sometime during the 1970’s they added a baseball cap to the bucknut with limbs. Today Brutus looks like something out of a muppet nightmare and frightens anyone he comes in contact with.


Colors/Logo/Helmet: The schools official colors of scarlet and grey were selected by three students the same year (1878) they changed to their name to Ohio State. The combination was selected because it was viewed as a “pleasing combination” and these colors were not being used by any other college. The original mixture of orange and black was shot down when the students discovered that Princeton used those colors. This was the closest Ohio State has ever come to being confused with Princeton.

The primary athletic Ohio State logo from 1957 to 1987 was a simple, yet enduring block “O”. Since 1987 they have added a more modern “Ohio State” arched through the middle. They have a ton of secondary logos, the most common combining the classic “O” with a buckeye leaf and nut.

My theory of the helmet design stability and program success is well supported with these guys. The Ohio State's silver bullet helmet design has been basically unchanged since 1968, making it one of the longest-running continuously-used designs in the NCAA. This simple scheme is augmented by little buckeye award stickers for class attendance, good behavior and nice plays.

This week they are planning on wearing a "throwback" uniform to honor their 1954 National Championship team. This is a NIKE marketing coup. I can only hope this uniform change will enable our team to get over their obvious fear of their standard issue scarlet and grey garb.

Fight Song: In 1915, OSU student William A. Dougherty, Jr., set out to write the perfect fight song for his school. Dougherty felt that something more exciting than the sad melancholy Carmen Ohio was needed for pep rallies and football games. As a result Fight the Team Across the Field was created. It debuted on October 16th 1915 against Illinois and has not stopped playing since. It is important to note that they had to wait another 4 years before they could play it during a win against Michigan.

This is the main buckeye fight song, although the Buckeye Battle Cry is played after touchdowns. Though the lyrics reference football heroics, the song is used by Buckeye teams of all sports. If you have ever been to an OSU game, their band plays an entire catalogue of toe tapping, yet kidnapped tunes, including the ever popular Hang on Sloopy.

Fight the Team Across the Field

Fight the team across the field
Show them Ohio's here
Set the Earth reverberating
With a mighty cheer
RAH! RAH! RAH!
Hit them hard and see how they fall
Never let that team get the ball
Hail! Hail! The gang's all here
So let's win that old conference now!

Of course there is always the alternate version I learned as a child of the song.

Academics: The US News & World Report rankings of undergraduate colleges in America currently places Ohio State as 53rd, tied with George Washington and Maryland. This places them 6th in the Big Ten. Over the last couple of years, Ohio State has made dramatic steps in this area of academic rankings. With 39,000 undergraduates, Ohio State prides itself on offering about any academic or extracurricular opportunity a student could dream of: 170 majors, 800+ student organizations; 120 study abroad programs; internship and research opportunities in every college.

Other Sports: Few schools have the athletic tradition of Ohio State. They are one of only three universities (Michigan and Cal-Berkeley being the others) to have won national championships in football, men's basketball, and baseball.

Since the inception of the Athletic Director's Cup, Ohio State has finished in the top 25 each year. Ohio State has won 57 total college national titles; of these 22 are NCAA championships. Their Women's teams have never won an NCAA sanctioned title, but they do have trophies in Cheerleading, Synchronized swimming (24 times) and pistol (2). In 2007, Sports Illustrated nicknamed Ohio State's athletics as "The Program" due to the unsurpassed facilities, unparalleled amount of men's and women's sport teams, success, and the financial support of an impressive fan base.

Exceptional former athletes at Ohio State include Olympic Gold Medalist Jesse Owens, NBA greats John Havlicek and Jerry Lucas, college basketball coaching legend Bobby Knight, and golf superstar Jack Nicklaus (attended, did not graduate).

Football: It is in football that most people recognize and associate Ohio State. They’ve won five recognized national championships, including most recently the 2002 crown. They’ve won 34 Big Ten titles. They have a combined seven Heisman Trophies including the only two-time winner: Archie Griffin in 1974 and 1975.

They have produced many NFL stars and college and pro football Hall of Famers. Famous names you might recognize include Jim Otis, Jack Tatum, Eddie George, Chris Spielman, Orlando Pace, and Cris Carter. Recent NFL first round draft picks include Chris "Beanie" Wells, Malcom Jenkins, Vernon Gholston, Anthony Gonzales, and Teddy Ginn Jr.

Ohio State is most well known for it's former coach Woody Hayes. Even to this day, he is worshipped as a god in the state despite an irascible personality and recurring episodes of poor sportsmanship, including the final spectacular explosion in which he punched a Clemson player after he had the audacity to intercept a Buckeye pass during the 1978 Gator Bowl. The identity of the school – and much of the state – is wrapped up in how the Buckeyes do on the gridiron. It is who they are and it unites them, much to the humor (and horror) of the rest of the nation.

Famous alums: As you would expect, Ohio State has a long and somewhat impressive list of famous alums. They have many successful CEOs and political leaders. They have produced two Nobel Peace prize winners and have accumulated 10 Pulitzers. Recognizable names include former UofM President Harlan Hatcher, Tuskegee Airmen Squadron Commander Harold Brown, WWII Medal of Honor winner Robert Scott, Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center co-founder Charles Kettering, Goosebumps author RL Stine, Windex inventor Harry Drackett, Shoney’s founder Alex Schoenbaum, ESPN SportsCenter director Vince Doria, Actress Patricia Heaton, annoying comedian Richard Lewis, Rascal Flatts lead singer Gary LeVox, country singer Dwight Yoakim, Baseball Hall of Fame sportscaster Jack Buck, and the co-founder of Wikipedia Larry Sanger. By far the most humorous and ironic name I find on this list is Teflon inventor Roy Plunkett. I can only imagine how many times Jim Tressel has gotten on his knees and thanked him over the years.

Yes, our own Bo Schembechler has a masters degree from Ohio State. He also has a pair of those cute little gold-pants charms they give out for beating Michigan.

Ohio State can also claim serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer and Christine Chubbuck, the florida television reporter who committed suicide on live television in 1974.

In case you are still keeping score, I counted at least four NASA astronauts, there may be more. And although the state of Ohio has produced eight US Presidents (William Henry Harrison, Ulysses S. Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, James A Garfield, Benjamin Harrison, William McKinley, William Howard Taft, and Warren Harding) -, but none of them attended or graduated from Ohio State. Ohio State does claim 3 current US Senators and 6 current US Congressmen.

The Game: I have no expectations what-so-ever for this game. If we win I will smile and breath a sigh of relief. If we lose, well.... I guess I will just go on like I have for the last 6 years. It shouldn't be close.

Michigan 57 total victories
Ohio State 43 total victories

Fancy Pants....

HT to O_G

COLUMBUS, Ohio – A statement from Ohio State director of athletics Gene Smith:

“During spring, 2009, Ohio State was invited by Nike to participate in its Rivalry uniform program with several other universities from around the nation. They offered us a chance to try a new uniform product featuring cutting-edge fabrics and technology; participation in the program also offered us a one-time opportunity to salute one of those great championship teams that have built the Ohio State football tradition.

“Our coaches and players were excited to see the different elements Nike presented in the prototype designs and samples. The uniform elements are still in production, and we are extremely eager to see the finished product when it arrives.

“For this special program, we chose to recognize the achievements of our undefeated 1954 national championship team, winning the Big Ten title outright before capturing a Rose Bowl victory. These great Buckeyes celebrated their 55th anniversary with us at the Minnesota game, and this is another way for us to pay homage to their stellar achievements.

“Our fans will be able to get the first look at these unique uniforms on Sunday, Nov. 15, when we will share photos of the finished product on our website OhioStateBuckeyes.com. Fans can also take a look at the actual uniform up close that week in our official Team Shop in the Schottenstein Center. And our team will wear these custom designs when the Buckeyes take the field Nov. 21 up north in Ann Arbor.

“Again, this is a one-time opportunity to honor a great championship team. We have no plans to make any changes to the traditional Buckeye uniform for the foreseeable future.”

Here is more information from tUOS which includes a link to some little dude posing in the uni's.

And the examiner has pics from Nike.

I think the Bucks may have just jinxed themselves.....

Welcome to Michigan

At some point in the next 24 hours there will be a horde of scarlet and grey barbarians pouring over the border. The anticipation of a record 6th win in a row over the hated wolverines is almost too much for them to take -- and many of them will need to drop a duece at some point during their visit. Based on the gameday experience in Columbus we wanted to make sure our visitors understood the local sanitary customs and expectations.

Now.... What are you going to do ?

Wallpaper Wednesday: Buckeye Triple Play

This is supposed to be the biggest week of the season, but somehow it just doesn't feel that way. In celebration of "the game" -- I created three different wallpapers this week to remind Michigan fans that we have many moments to be proud of. I just hope someday soon Michigan can once again hold up our end of this great rivalry.

1940 - Tom Harmon


1969 - Bo vs Woody


1995 - Tim Biakabutuka

Go Blue !

Even if they make us cry like babies.....

Brilliant Buckeyes

ok---I should not be allowed on the internets....

here are a few gems from the fans to the south

do you think they will be gracious in victory???????

EXHIBIT A) where there is no sense there is no feeling:




EXHIBIT B) if this is how you treat your friends....




EXHIBIT C) Completely speaks for itself:



EXHIBIT D) I thought the only folk-song-singing-granola-lovin'-guitar-players lived in Ann Arbor????

Stupid is as Stupid Does.....

Ok, apparently the bright bulbs in the band decided to replicated the Krebs cycle....

here's their version of it:



and here is the actual Krebs cycle:























Gosh you guys make this blog stuff easy.

The painful truth

From Stewart Mandel via Sports Illustrated.

Shortly after Saturday's Rose Bowl-clinching win, Jim Tressel told his team:

"You can have three hours and savor this, but when the clock strikes 12:00, we know what week it is....

I'm just playing with you guys...

They have no defense

...Take a couple of days off."

Edit: This got picked up by a couple of Buckeye Blogs. For the record, I know this is a made up quote. Tressel would never be that truthful or funny. I also know that if he did say it, it wouldn't matter. All the bulletin board material in the world won't make tackles or cover receivers.

Once upon a time...

Looking for an oasis: Football in the Desert

Oh, the land is bare

The glare hot,

And the way uncertain.

Stagnate and whither,

Or trudge forward,

To the horizon

of the unknown.

This is football in the desert.

This is our Michigan Difference.

Just for now.

Because,those who stay,

Will be champions.

Gameday 2009 - Cheese Bowl

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

~WC Fields

Wolverine vs Badger

Inter-species conflict.
Assumptions = Two very healthy adult males.

Weight: 40 pounds
Weapons: 38 Teeth and curved and semi-retractile claws.
Build: The Wolverine's head is broad and rounded, with small eyes and short rounded ears. The skull of the wolverine is robust; powerful jaw and associated musculature enable it to forage on frozen meat and bone.
Armor: Wolverine fur is typically a thick, glossy dark brown.
Defenses: Well developed anal musk glands, musking appears to be used primarily as a fear-defense mechanism and is associated with cautionary raised tail posture
Temperament: Highly aggressive if cornered, documented reports of wolverines chasing grizzly bears off their kills.
Diet: Mostly carnivorous
Lifestyle: Completely solitary unless raising pups or mating.

Weight: 26 pounds
Weapons: 34 small needle like teeth and claws which can be up to 40mm long.
Build: Badgers are heavily built, and have a broad head with small eyes. The legs are short, but the forelegs are well-developed.
Armor: Relies on thick shaggy coat to protect it from harm. Its muscular neck and thick, loose fur protect it when it is captured by a predator. It can run backwards as fast as forwards. It hisses, growls, squeals and snarls. It also releases an unpleasant musk that may drive a predator away.
Defenses: Very fast and accomplished diggers. They can dig a hole to safety in less then a minute. There are anecdotal accounts of badgers emerging from holes they have excavated through blacktopped pavement and two inch thick concrete.
Temperament: Badgers are not a very friendly species. They are easily agitated to aggression and will stand their ground when confronted to anything, including bears and wolves.
Diet: Badgers are carnivorous, but will occasionally feed on plants. Their main diet consists of burrowing rodents, which they hunt by sniffing them out with their powerful sense of smell, then rapidly dig them up with their long front claws. Badgers will also eat insect they come across while hunting. They have been known to raid hornet and wasp nest.
Lifestyle: Badgers are solitary animals, except when males and females meet up to mate, and when females are rearing their young. If one badger meets another, they will attack each other.


Here is how the fight would go down..
Both Wolverine and Badger catch wind of another animals kill and come running. Badger gets there first due to speed and chases off the predator, followed closely by the Wolverine. Both have their eye on the prize and both are too aggressive and stubborn to back off. The scent throwing begins, with the Wolverine puffing out his tail and spraying much like a skunk, this irritates the Badger causing him to do the same. Both animals are now smelly and extremely pissed off but no one is injured yet.

The Wolverine, after much posturing charges in and the fur starts flying. The Wolverine claws are ineffectual, causing minimal damage to badger due to its course wiry fur. The Badgers is able to use it's claws but only to impose superficial wounds on Wolverine due to its extremely thick winter fur. The Wolverines jaws and skull muscles are built to crush through ice and bone. After much scuffling and snarling and snapping of jaws the Wolverine manages to get ahold of the Badgers leg in its mouth, and its extremely powerful jaws snap the bones like a twig. The Wolverines diet of frozen meat has given it the edge and the Badger can not recover from a broken leg. While the Badger has long claws and quickness it lacks the overall jaw strength to pose a real threat and its teeth have trouble getting through to the Wolverine.

It would be a hideously nasty fight, but the ability to crush bone would give the Wolverine an edge in an otherwise almost perfectly matched fight.

The winner:

WOLVERINES !!!!

Know your Foe – Wisconsin 2009

You can't do a Wisconsin KYF without quoting our KYF founder Benny: What other school could possibly have a logo/seal that looks like a beer label?

History: The University of Wisconsin was born on the same day as the state on March 13th, 1848. The school was decreed in the Wisconsin Constitution, requiring a prominent public university “at or near Madison". Nelson Dewey (Wisconsin’s first governor) signed the act that formally created the new university, and its first class, with 17 students, met in an existing Madison school building on February 5, 1849.

Location: Madison is far and away the best college town I have ever had the pleasure to visit. Mad-Town holds a distinctive place in my heart because it was the first place that I ever bought and drank a beer legally (18 year olds were grandfathered when the state went to a 21 year old drinking age). Every person I know that went to UW holds Madison in very high regard, despite the brutal winters. Wisconsin was named the number one "party school" in the May '06 issue of Playboy. In 2007 the Princeton Review awarded Wisconsin the first place prize for beer consumption. For my tastes Madison has everything you look for in a college town: a great campus, many big trees, classic building architecture, a funky liberal political slant, serious tail-gating, quality restaurants, loads of entertaining college bars, and an easy to walk to the football stadium.

Nickname/Mascot: They call themselves the Badgers. The badger is actually quite similar to a Wolverine -- in that they both belong in the carnivorous mammals Mustelidae (Weasel) Family. Badger meat was once a main meat source in the Native American diet, but since Badger are now a protected species in North America – it is difficult to find their meat at a standard US grocery store.

The cute Wisconsin mascot is named Bucky the Badger (official full name is Buckingham U. Badger). He was first drawn in 1940 by a local artist named Art Evans. An actual badger from Eau Claire was used at the first football games that year, but the badger proved to be too much to handle and was retired to a zoo. After that, the school replaced the live badger with a live raccoon named Regdab ('badger' backwards). In 1949, a Bucky head-piece was created and a contest was started to properly name the mascot. In 2006, Bucky was inducted as a charter member of the Mascot Hall of Fame's College Division

Colors/Logo: Yet another opponent that wears variation of red, this one is cardinal and white. Their logo is a stylized “motion W”. Wisconsin actively protects their W trademark, even to the point of pushing the CLC taking other colleges and high schools to court and forcing them to change their logo. So far, they have been in disputes with schools in New Jersey, North Carolina, Ohio, Iowa, Texas, and West Virginia.

Helmets: Wisconsin's helmets have evolved over the years from a strangely cool W on the front to a several versions of the W the sides of the headgear. The current “motion W” design was introduced in 1991 and has become the standard.
Wisconsin wore those 1960's funky W in the front “throw back” helmets in their 2005 game against Bowling Green. They won that game 56-42, which was the second-most points scored at Camp Randall Stadium, trailing only the 1890 shutout of UW-Whitewater by the score of 106-0.

Red helmets were used at occasionally in each year from 1967 through 1970, but not during every game. And during the 1969 season, one Wisconsin player was presented the "Savage Award" after each game, which entitled him to wear a black helmet for the rest of the season. Imagine the confusion of playing a team with players in several different color helmets ? The 1969 Badgers were 3-7.

Fight Song: "On, Wisconsin!" is the name the Badger's fight song. It is also doubles as official state song. That title originally gained fame as the battle cry that Lieutenant Arthur MacArthur, Jr. used to rally his US troops in the Civil War Battle of Chattanooga at Missionary Ridge. He won the Medal of Honor for his actions. He later became an Army General, and had a son named Douglas - who also became a General and won a Medal of Honor.

The tune was composed in 1909 by William T. Purdy, with the intention of entering it into a competition for a new fight song at the University of Minnesota. Carl Beck, a former University of Wisconsin-Madison student, convinced him to withdraw it from the contest at the last minute and allow his alma mater to use it instead. Beck then wrote the original, football-oriented lyrics.

On, Wisconsin! On, Wisconsin!
Plunge right through that line!
Run the ball clear down the field
A touchdown sure this time. (U rah rah)
On, Wisconsin! On, Wisconsin!
Fight on for her fame Fight!
Fellows! - fight, fight, fight!
We'll win this game.

On, Wisconsin! On, Wisconsin!
Stand up, Badgers, sing!
"Forward" is our driving spirit
Loyal voices ring.
On, Wisconsin! On, Wisconsin!
Raise her glowing flame
Stand, Fellows, let us now
Salute her name!

Academics: Considering the size of the Wisconsin student population (41,000+ enrolled) coupled with the volume of beer consumed, the academics here are not bad at all. Wisconsin is currently ranked #39 in the US News National ranking (tied with Illinois). This places them as the 3rd (or 4th) highest ranked Big Ten School (Behind Northwestern and Michigan). Students and alumni really pump up Wisconsin by saying it's a great combination of academics and a fun party school. And if you have ever been there, you would agree.

Athletics: Wisconsin competes in the Big Ten Conference in all sports except men's and women's ice hockey and crew. Before the 1990s, Wisconsin was a perennial Big Ten football doormat, competing with Northwestern for the distinction of favorite homecoming opponent. All that changed with the arrival of Barry Alvarez; they have won three football Big Ten titles, three Rose Bowls, and a Heisman trophy. They have consistently fielded quality football teams. This football success has spread to other sports. In basketball they have been to the NCAA tournament for nine straight seasons, and they made it to the Final Four in 2000. They also have a National Championship in basketball, in 1941. Their hockey teams have always been strong, and in 2006 they made history when both the men's (their 6th) and women's (their 1st) hockey teams were crowned NCAA National Champions. They have also won recent National Championships in Cross Country, Indoor Track & Field, and Soccer.

I can't mention Wisconsin sports without mentioning the 5th quarter. This tradition has become nationally famous. Win or lose, fans sing, dance and cheer with the band as they play fun stuff like The Bud Song. Originally, this post-game concert was designed to give the fans something to listen to on their way out of the stadium, but it developed into a huge post-game party. I know many students that would miss the game and show up late in the 4th quarter to enjoy the band.

Famous alums: The Wisconsin list of notable alumni is a solid mix of folks that includes 12Nobel Prize winners and a 7 Pulitzer Prize winners. Famous names of note are aviator Charles Lindbergh, Harley-Davidson founder William Harley, historian and author Stephen Ambrose, MLB commissioner Bud Selig, 1970s rockers Steve Miller (left six credits short of a degree) and Boz Skaggs, Wizard of Oz munchkin Meinhardt Raabe, and architect Frank Lloyd Wright (he attended, but did not graduate).

Yes… Wisconsin has three astronauts the most famous being Apollo 13 hero Jim Lovell (attended for 2 years but transferred to the Naval Academy). No… former US Presidents, but they have a kick-ass statue of Abe Lincoln and they did give US Grant an honorary degree in 1879. In addition, they can claim Iajuddin Ahmed, the most recent former President of Bangladesh.

Game: I predict pain.

Rewind: 1986 at Wisconsin

Spawn Fantasy Football: Week 9

From BAH, the Fantasy Football Czar

Boring week in the NFL last weekend. Thankfully true football fans were spared the Cleveland Clowns for a week. Detroit is on the rise and even Tampa Bay got off the snide with their rookie QB at the helm. Puts the Clowns back in the running for the number 1 overall pick which they can make then squander and ruin the professional career of some talented player. It's sad really.

The shootout of the week was Smooth Operators beating Bigasshammm's squad 153 - 138. Bigasshammm couldn't buy a win much like RR can't coach a win. Smooth's dynamic duo of Kurt Warner and Larry Fitzgerald paved the way to victory. Big had a good week with nearly every player scoring double digits and climbed up to 5th in total points. Sadly though they are cemented in dead last with only 2 victories.

The 9 Finger Freaks got off their losing ways against SleepingwiththeEnemy. Sleeping had a very sub par week with only Joseph Addai being their lone bright spot. Michael Turner had a huge game for 9 Finger propelling them to the win. 9 Finger currently sits in the final playoff spot with the edge on total points over Bursley Busses.

Speaking of the Busses Bursley Busses' coach Andy took the week off and left a couple spots vacant giving Zoltan's an easy victory. We're all upset at the outcome of this season but please come back to us Andy. You are the fire repellant that keeps this couch from burning. Zoltan's meanwhile is one a winning streak and looking to take down Smooth in this week's matchup.

Finally Defenestrators won again. They knocked off He Hate Me with average games from both teams. Pittsburgh's D was not enough to keep the Defenestrators from grabbing another victory. At 8-1 they now have a 2 game lead on the competition. Won't they take a week or two off?

Get your popcorn ready as this weekend has an intriguing matchup. The Cleveland Clowns fans vs National TV. Granted I probably won't be able to watch on Monday night as it won't be a sellout but there is city wide unrest with the ownership and management of the team. A fanwide protest of the start of the Monday Night Football flogging with the Baltimore Ravens has been organized. They are trying to have all fans not enter the game until after kickoff. Thus when the game begins there will hopefully be "plenty of good seats still available!" I've never wanted something to succeed more than this. This Bud's for you.

Wallpaper Wednesday: Thru the flames

Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.

~ John Quincy Adams

The Idiocy of Hope

Defense?

We don't need no stinkin' defense.
Fun with numbers:
a) Michigan has the worst D in the Big Ten
b) We have been outscored 75-12 in the second half of the last THREE games
However.....
check out the comparison data. I've highlited the stuff that just makes no sense whatsoever.

TEAM STATISTICS                        MICH          OPP
--------------------------------------------------------
SCORING.......................          320          264
Points Per Game.............         32.0         26.4
FIRST DOWNS...................          204          187
Rushing.....................          111           84
Passing.....................           85           90
Penalty.....................            8           13
RUSHING YARDAGE...............         2083         1583
Yards gained rushing........         2438         1866
Yards lost rushing..........          355          283
Rushing Attempts............          431          369
Average Per Rush............          4.8          4.3
Average Per Game............        208.3        158.3
TDs Rushing.................           27           17
PASSING YARDAGE...............         1957         2350
Comp-Att-Int................   143-256-10    194-323-9
Average Per Pass............          7.6          7.3
Average Per Catch...........         13.7         12.1
Average Per Game............        195.7        235.0
TDs Passing.................           12           13
TOTAL OFFENSE.................         4040         3933
Total Plays.................          687          692
Average Per Play............          5.9          5.7
Average Per Game............        404.0        393.3
KICK RETURNS: #-Yards.........      45-1087      46-1030
PUNT RETURNS: #-Yards.........       23-228       17-104
INT RETURNS: #-Yards..........         9-74       10-107
KICK RETURN AVERAGE...........         24.2         22.4
PUNT RETURN AVERAGE...........          9.9          6.1
INT RETURN AVERAGE............          8.2         10.7
FUMBLES-LOST..................        25-12         11-4
PENALTIES-Yards...............       52-454       59-508
Average Per Game............         45.4         50.8
PUNTS-Yards...................      45-2010      60-2222
Average Per Punt............         44.7         37.0
Net punt average............         41.5         32.6
TIME OF POSSESSION/Game.......        26:35        33:25
3RD-DOWN Conversions..........       54/133       58/157
3rd-Down Pct................          41%          37%
4TH-DOWN Conversions..........         6/15          4/8
4th-Down Pct................          40%          50%
SACKS BY-Yards................       17-116       23-146
MISC YARDS....................            0            0
TOUCHDOWNS SCORED.............           42           30
FIELD GOALS-ATTEMPTS..........         9-11        18-23
ON-SIDE KICKS.................          0-1          1-1
RED-ZONE SCORES...............    29-41 71%    31-36 86%
RED-ZONE TOUCHDOWNS...........    23-41 56%    18-36 50%
PAT-ATTEMPTS..................    39-40 98%   26-26 100%

SCORE BY QUARTERS     1st  2nd  3rd  4th  OT     Total
--------------------  ---  ---  ---  ---  ---      ---
Michigan............  121   88   34   77    0  -   320
Opponents...........   64   65   64   65    6  -   264

So why am I so aggravated and frustrated by this team???
Because, as Brandon Graham points out, they ARE better than their 5-5 record.
They completely implode, making mental mistakes and blowing assignments. Ok, I'll give you that they are young but
why did Robinson sit Ezeh and Mouton for most of the first half???? Do they mail in it that much that the freshmen and
walk-ons behind them deserve to play more??? GACK if that's true. Where's the discipline and concentration?
It's like they are all trying to do way too much, instead of playing within the scheme.
Why is that? Here's my theory.....

RR's coaching is suspect. He is good at X's and O's --you can see flashes of brilliance when the offense clicks,
but he uses a "slap-sorry" style of management. How many times can he scream at his coaches without their
authority, credibility, and confidence being eroded? If you were a kid, would you want to watch your head coach
bust the balls of your position coach or coordinator? When would you lose confidence in the whole thing?

RR is also stubborn as shit. No sense of strategy---he just keeps calling the same shit over and over. There are
minimal adjustments at the half and because we play with a limited set of plays, once those are spent, the
other guys know exactly what we are going to do. Denard comes in for ONE play---and is stuffed. Why? Because
they've got a spy on him every time he steps on the field.....stoopid.

Purdue rightfully rolls their QB out and away from whichever side BG is on....play after play after play. Where's
the adjustment???? There isn't one. IT'S MADDENING. Didn't these guys play high school ball???

Ok, and so then I go back to the numbers. Which show a lot of scoring on the offense. And absolutely no defense.
And I try to say, oh they are young. Oh we need one more year. Oh don't pick on the kids.
But seriously......I just can't understand it.

Anyone else understand what the hell goes wrong every game???
Please enlighten me.....

I'd rather laugh than cry

There is no healing.....

The wheels have come off the bus.
I too must put myself in 'time out' for a bit
I'll be back when the rage recedes

Game Day Open Thread: Purdue

Flounder, you can't spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes! You fucked up - you trusted us! Hey, make the best of it! Maybe we can help.
---Otter

GO BLUE!
BEAT THE BOILERS!!!

Elizabeth Lambert: Pony-tail-pulling-bad-ass-THUG

Ok, I know that this is soooo not cool or funny (really) but this Lobos Soccer player takes no prisoners! OUCH

New Mexico player's rough tactics lead to ban

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Lame Know Your Foe: Purdue (Redux)

My apologies, but the real world and it's requirements have not allowed the creation of a KYF this week.
Luckily, my buddy Andy has already done all the work and I can just copy......

blogwriter fail.

Spawn Fantasy Football Update

From our FF guru, Bigassham:

What a weekend of NFL games. None better than the ageless Brett Favre sweeping the "washed up?" Green Bay Packers and proving he is the greatest once again. Mr. Favre when you're in Canton I will be there. Anyway another standard week of games in the Spawn FF pool. Some typical outcomes and not a lot of close games. Although one game did come down to Monday nig

ht and was virtually separated by mere decimals until one WR blew up. On to that in a moment.

Game 1 this week had the top dogs Defenestrators against Smooth Operators. Smo

oth was led by some great RB play but his WRs pulled a Braylon Edwards and couldn't amount for anything. Defenstrators continued his dominance with Maurice Jones-Drew destroying all other players on either team. Defen now pulls to a 2 game lead over Smooth in the overall standings.

Game 2 saw SleepingwiththeEnemy trounce He Hate Me by 40 points. Where was All Day? He Hate Me only managed to get 2 players into double digits but the highest was only nearly 14 points. Sleeping had a good day from the RBs and a great day from Reggie Wayne propelling him to victory.

Game 3 saw the closest game of the week as Bigassham fell once again to Zoltan's Heroes. Zoltan's avenged their week 1 loss to the Hamster. This game was tied on Monday night with a few decimal points separating the two until Roddy White burst open for a 58 yard TD and the Zoltan's never looked back. This reporter blames himself for turning on the damn game. Bigassham is now cemented in last place and has a huge battle again this week with Smooth. It's not looking good.

Game 4 the hometown heroes Bursley Busses knocked down 9 Finger Freaks into an almost dead even tie with Bigassham in the cellar. In the only bright spot of the weekend for Andy Bursley pulled off the win led by Tony Romo and Marques Colston. 9 Finger was hampered by Steve Slaton's impressive -0.90 score. The only negative score I remember seeing so far this season.

This week will see no one pick up any free points for teams playing the Browns. This should even up some of the standings and bring some more parity into the league. If not then all is lost and football is dead to me.

Signing off.