Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Big Ten Espionage

I discovered something very important today.

It helps explain why I was in so much pain this fall. It helps explain why everything I know about college football was turned upside down. It helps explain why my beloved Michigan football team only won 3 games last season. It wasn't that our QB was putrid and our line offensive.

It all makes sense now...

THEY HAD ALL OF OUR PLAYS !!!!

Some guy in Alabama is selling a RICH RODRIGUEZ SPREAD OPTION FOOTBALL PLAYBOOK PACKAGE on ebay. For only $21.99 you can purchase a CD with the entire spread option playbook from the 1999 Clemson Tigers (110 pages) and the 2002 and 2005 West Virginia Mountaineers (226 pages and 158 pages). Everything you need is here. It makes perfect sense now !!!!

He even describes the package like this: "This package is great for ... coaches who want to get an edge on the competition."

The cause for our 2008 train-wreck is now crystal clear. For less than $25 from his paypal account Joe Paterno was able to purchase this stuff, sit in the press box and figure us out. For less than $25 borrowed from his buddy Jim Tressel -- Mark Dantonio was able to get the edge his jolly green giants needed to win. That guy in Toledo was able to tell what we were doing and make the world believe a MAC team can come into Michigan Stadium and win. Fat Charlie was able to predict our every move, even with a broken leg and a full stomach.

The good news, apparently Brett Bielema and Tim Brewster were too cheap to throw down the cash to ensure they could beat Michigan this year too.

19 comments:

whetstonebuck said...

That's $21 more than it was worth.
Suckers!

ohio_guy said...

hey whets..by any chance does "whetstone" refer to either the high school in Columbus or the unincorporated town in Crawford County?.....or am I wrong with either guess?

just wondering

srudoff said...

for 83 cents, you can also buy Rich Rod's Guide to Family Values. Also published as "You fat motherf*&#L!s, get your &*#! moving before I &*!(!! stick my #!*!@ foot up your &*#*(! &*!(!, *!#@!"

Andy said...

Great.

All three of our buckeye readers make smart-ass comments. I guess we know who really cares about this community.

whetstonebuck said...

ohio_guy,

Strike two! Others have asked the same question.

Whetstone is a reference to the mountain range outside my front door.

whetstonebuck said...

"All three of our buckeye readers make smart-ass comments. I guess we know who really cares about this community."

Andy, you say that like it's a bad thing.

TitleIX said...

honestly whetstone, while the repartee with you and sru and OG is entertaining....it is so not why we kept this blog going. ;-)

M-fans!?
help us out a bit, will ya???

Mikoyan said...

What they didn't say is that it was fake....suckahs!

ohio_guy said...

ah, thanks whets

wv=carpoll

whetstonebuck said...

Ohio_guy,

You sound disappointed. What do you want to know?

wv = glomed (as in, "we tOSU fans glomed on to this website.")

whetstonebuck said...

T-9,

I know that, but sheesh, cut us a break. We're doing our part. I expected a Hickory Farms assortment pack or something for the effort.

616goblue said...

Andy and T9,

when I respond to Buckeye fans via internets, I type slow as they can not read fast. Typically, they laugh and then say "I don't get it."

I'm just saying...

whetstonebuck said...

"I don't get it."

TitleIX said...

wait schwetty...
I thought YOU were supposed to send ME 'the salami'

whatever floats your boat dude.

Mikoyan said...

How is it that an undefeated team is playing tonight and some unknown two loss team from some cowtown in Ohio is playing in one of the big games?

TitleIX said...

conspiracy AND espionage

ohio_guy said...

so much for undefeated

Mikoyan said...

Looks like the BCS can say..."See all you whiners...We were right....Oh wait...Our stupid little poll said that Boise State was better....Don't look behind the curtain...Please"

Mikoyan said...

Oh look....

The Ohio State Playbook is only $0.99

http://cgi.ebay.com/OHIO-STATE-OFFENSIVE-FOOTBALL-PLAYBOOK-PACK-TRESSEL_W0QQitemZ220334312640QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUS_Nonfiction_Book?hash=item220334312640&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=72%3A570%7C66%3A2%7C65%3A12%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1318%7C301%3A1%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50