But, given that my boy Andy has been carrying Spawn for a bit now, I’m happy to get back at it. This however left me with a conundrum. What to discuss??? We’ve done chocolate milk, neck collars, beer pong, and breast support. Given that I was a youngin’ before 1972 I really didn’t play organized sports so my repertoire may be limited—but then I remembered, hey girl! even tho I’m not an athlete, I sure can be an athletic supporter!!!
EUREKA!
Today’s edition of Sports Science Friday is about that very important accessory, the jockstrap and it’s add-on, the cup (aka junk muzzle, jock box, ball pad). Snicker all you want, but anyone out there who has suffered a direct blow to the balls knows why this is a BIG deal.
Awareness of Genial Health in Young Male Athletes. Congeni J, Miller SF, Bennett CL. from Clin J Sport Med, 2005. 15(1), 22-26.
I'm going to share some scary data, gentlemen so hold on---(granted the researchers are from Northeastern Ohio Universities College of Medicine in Akron so this data may be completely skewed by bucknuts…..nevertheless)
Of 775 male athletes aged 12-25, 47% reported wearing nothing more than briefs for genital protection, even though according to the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System (NEISS) 20% of emergency department visits for sports-related genital trauma can lead to permanent injury. The data varied by sport--78% said they wore a cup during baseball, while only 33% wore one for football. A mere 10% donned a cup for basketball. {Guess they like free-ballin' huh??} 49% of football players wore jocks, and 69% of b-ballers wore briefs. Obviously if one has a small, round projectile hurled at you at 85+ miles an hour one would want a bit of "safety" down there. But given all the "business" going on in a football huddle, I'd think you'd want to put a lid on it there too.....?......
If you think that I have gone 'nutty'...I direct you to this interesting article by Daniel Akst over at Slate.com that discusses the proud history of the jockstrap. Originally a rubberized cotton canvas girdle worn under swimming trunks to provide public modesty, wiki says: In 1874, Charles Bennett of the Chicago sporting goods company, Sharp & Smith, invented the jockstrap. The original name of Bennett's invention was the Bike Jockey Strap and its logo, a large bicycle wheel. The jockey strap was intended, first, for "bicycle jockeys", and secondly, for horseback riders. The "bike jockey strap" became known as a "jock strap" and, eventually, simply a "jock". Bennett's newly-formed Bike Web Company patented and began mass-producing the Bike Jockey Strap. The Bike Web Company later became known as the Bike Company. The first consumer mass marketing of the jockstrap occurred in the 1902 edition of the Sears and Roebuck Catalog which claimed the garment, now termed an "athletic supporter", was "medically indicated" for all males that engaged in sports or strenuous activity.
The sad truth though is that the jockstrap doesn't do much to help save the jewels or prevent sports hernias, but it does provide a safe place for the hardware/protective cup. It was useful in providing the 'raw' material for the inventors of the sports bra, however. And, the humble jockstrap provides a HUGE market for homoerotic images. (the vast majority of which I have spared you, dear reader)
However, continuing the Army v. Navy theme these images were toooooo good to pass up....
Now the macho men will argue that compression shorts are just as good--and many in the NFL choose this as their underwear of choice. (much to womens' delight....)
One word of wisdom, gentlemen.
IF you chose to forgo a cup and decide on compression shorts, for the LOVE OF G-D AND ALL THINGS HOLY, please make darned sure they are BLACK SHORTS.......
Now granted, this edition of SFF hasn't provided my dear friend Andy with much to correct via Photoshop, but consider it a public service announcement on the behalf of your wives, girlfriends, F-buddies, and urologists everywhere. Wear a cup when in engaged in high-impact sports.
OR ELSE>>>>>>
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14 comments:
Spawn points to any chinese speaking readers who can enlighten us about what the gentlemen were trying to say......
I knew I should not have reminded you...
Baseball, yes. Football, maybe. Basketball, never.
Hey TitleIX, I think they were Japanese. That clip had all the makings of one of those effed up Japanese game shows...
There were too many things wrong with this thread to comment. Yes, I'm feeling a littel testy.
I've seen compression shorts at sporting goods stores recently that feature a pocket in front for a cup. I think that's the best solution yet: avoiding the unfortunate fashion of a jock put still providing the protection of a cup.
Whets.... Take your hand out of your pants and you will not feel that "little testy" anymore. You need to stop with the steroids already.
Sorry, your set up was just too good to pass up.
wv: relic No I really feel old.
BlueBob,
I would have been disappointed in you if you had let that slow, hanging softball get by you.
Now, pardon me. I feel an uncontrollable rage welling up.
that chinese is some the funniest things ive ever seen
ok, first, my apologies to the chinese. given that I not fluent in any Asian language I mistakenly went with the title provided by the random You Tubes posting.
But, my request still stands---anyone fluent in Japanese (or whatever language is being used) please clue us in to why the video is even funnier than it looks....
GoBlueBob: Thanks for taking advantage of schwetty's testy demeanor, although I do think he got ya back. Even if he did admit to his soft-balls.....
ok
ok.
clearly whetstone is upset by this post. I'm sorry. I didn't know that you'd have PTSD over the whole dodge ball thing....
sheez.
er--
I AM NOT fluent in english, nor chinese it appears....
I killed a kid playing dodgeball. Have you ever killed a kid playing dodgeball, missy?
You don't get over it.
wow. I can see how that could scar.
but--
consider this.
you were an instrument of evolution.
culling the herd, as it were.
in a game of DODGEball, if one doesn't DODGE...well then, off you go.
So see whetstone, you don't have to blame yourself any longer....
Wow! I feel, I feel...like singing!
I just dodged a lifetime of guilt. T-9, thanks for not dropping the ball on this one. You set this former jock free. I was strapped with guilt, but now my cup runneth over.
LOL.
game
set
match!!!
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