Greetings, my name is Rasputin. I am the DETERMINER. Please... Please... do not be afraid as I mean you no harm. I am only here to help you along your journey. Won't you please just sit down and relax while I educate you with my vastly superior level of knowledge on all things.
I am not sure how to say this gently, but I determine what is the perfect Michigan fan. It is my sacred responsibility to police all opinions within the vast MGoUniverse. That is why they call me the DETERMINER. I decide what is RIGHT and what is WRONG. I spend my days watching the Wolverine interworld for idiotic opinions that stray from my own perfect level of fandom. When I happen to find one, I gather my army and we strike. Don't waste your time to respond. Defense is fruitless. Do not attempt to stand by your opinion, as it will only extend the pain and suffering you will feel. Fortunately for us, my opinion is the only one that matters. I am right. You are wrong. No matter what you may believe... remember this: I am right and you are wrong.
I have no equal. My army is unmatched. I am everywhere. I will taunt you. You are a choad. I will crush your feeble uneducated soul. I know everything there is to know about you. Do not attempt the foolish waste of time to disagree with me. I am not interested in your opinion. Your arguments are flawed. You blog is a skidmark on the underpants of the interwebs. I am right. You are not. I am the DETERMINER.
No mercy, no surrender.