 Jim Tressel: I have no idea why anyone would steal such an iconic part of this great conference. I have asked each of my players to look inside themselves (and their gym bags) to come up with any clues to help the Penn State police. If I find anyone from my team did it, I swear I will sit them down for one, maybe two plays.Maybe you should check with those smart kids at Northwestern, they seem to know all the answers on tough tests... |
 Pat Fitzgerald: I know that no one from Northwestern had anything to do with the missing glasses. We are all studying so hard, plus we didn't even play Penn State this year. Did you check with the criminals that Ron Zook is collecting down at Illinois ? I bet they had something to do with this... |
 Ron Zook: Are you kidding ? I have no idea where those ugly things are. We have been out on the recruiting trail since the season ended and I know that none of my guys would do this. Check with Ferentz at Iowa, they are a suspicious bunch... |
 Kirk Ferentz: I know that we should be the primary suspects, since we were the only conference team to beat the Nitts this season -- but I swear I have no idea where those glasses are. If I wanted a pair, I could just go out and buy my own pair. Oh yeah, we were the only Big Ten team to win a bowl game. Suckers.... You might want to check with Sparty. |
 Mark Dantonio: I think we should have a moment of silence for Penn State and JoePa's glasses. I am just trying to build a program here that the good people of the state of Michigan can be proud of and change the culture of the conference at the same time. Did you check with those arrogant assholes down in Ann Arbor. You know they went 3-9 last year. |
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Wanted
Penn State police are looking out for Joe Paterno's Coke bottle-thick glasses. Vandals apparently cut the glasses off just above the base of the ears of the 7-foot sculpture outside of Beaver Stadium between 11 a.m. Friday and 11 a.m. Saturday, when a police officer noticed the damage. This is not the first time that the statue of JoePa has been vandalized -- and Penn State fans are getting pissed off. We were able to contact some of the other coaches in the Big Ten had and they provided these comments and support about the missing glasses.
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7 comments:
Well done, and creative... well done.
very good, though i gotta say, if i were making up a list of suspects, Joe Tiller would have been at the top (probably took them as a "retirement" gift instead of a gold watch).
Excellent. You are at the top of your game.
Good job Andy. Also missing are JoePa's extra big bag of DEPENDS.
Anyone in the vicinity of Happy Valley run for your lives!
Andy,
The SpawnNation stands in unison with a "moment of silence" for this brilliant post.
Well done sir.
Reminds me of the 60's incident when Syracuse fans drenched the Nittany Lion statue in orange oil-based paint. If you look very closely at the statue in person, you can still see the orange paint. Also, not sure when, but someone took a hammer to the right ear of the statue and you can still see the crack. Looks like they're going to have to guard the Joe Pa shrine too. It's too bad people find a way to ruin anything.
I did not know that JoePa and Alvin go to the same optometrist.
You are hysterical!!!
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