Attendees: It is great to be here Alex. We are looking forward to watching you in the Super Bowl in the future.
Alex: Me too. To add a little life to this party I thought it would be fun to introduce a drinking game to celebrate the fact that one of my former Buckeye teammates, Santonio Holmes is playing for the Steelers. Here are the rules: For each catch Santonio makes you need to drink a beer. For each first down he gets you need to drink a shot of whiskey. If he scores a touchdown you need to slam six shots of tequila.
Attendees: OK-- this sounds like a lot of fun. Are you sure you should be doing this ? I know that you had promised to clean up your act after your DUI and the problems you had in Ohio.
Alex: Come on guys, I am a 300 pound All-Big Ten offensive lineman. This is California, not boring old Ohio. I can handle a couple of drinks at a Super Bowl Party. Plus that bitchy Tressel isn’t here to ruin my fun any more. I am my own man and I will play by my own rules going forward.
Steelers 2nd drive of the game
Alex: Holmes with the catch and a first down!!!! Drink up fellas
Attendees: Yeah. Go Buckeyes. OH-IO.
Alex: Santonio makes his 2nd catch of the drive !!! No first down this time. Beers only.
Attendees: Boooo. We want shots.
Alex: Santonio delivers his 3rd catch. He makes ANOTHER first down. But he is stopped at the 7 yard line. Rules are rules. Drink up
Attendees: 3 beers and 2 shots of whiskey in one drive. This could be a long day. Oh well, Go Bucks.
Steelers 3rd drive of the game
Alex: Roethlisberger misses him with a deep pass. Damn that would have been sweet. I am getting thirsty. You know this NFL thing doesn’t look too tough. Hell I am a better lineman than that pussy from Michigan Jake Long and he was the #1 pick and made it to the pro bowl.
Attendees: Fuck Michigan.
Alex: Holmes with another catch. And ANOTHER first down.
Attendees: But Alex, there was a holding penalty on that play….
Alex: Oh well, I have already finished my beer and shot. My bad.
Into the 3rd quarter
Alex: I don’t know why I ever stopped drinking in the first place. This is great. OOOOh another Holmes catch and another first down. Bottoms up everyone.
Attendees: Maybe you should slow down big fella. Remember when you told the world you would stay sober, went into a treatment center, and felt embarrassed because you were there.
Alex: I am my own man now. I never lost to Michigan. I love SANANTONIO HOLMES and I am going to be an NFL superstar.… and we have another catch and first down. Drink up.
Alex: Can you believe that great catch by my man Sannnnnantoniooooooo. He made that with one hand. Another first down. Yum Yum Yum I love my beers and my whiskey.
Attendees: But… but Alex. They called holding on that play. The catch doesn’t count. The Cardinals got a safety.
Alex: Too late.
Steelers final drive
Alex: OoooKkkay Steeelersh. You have two minutes to get down the fieeeeld. Throw the ballllll to the fast little buckeye wearing numberrrrr 10. You know we had to do this once in Ann Arbor, that little whore. My man Gononzo made a great catch (after he ran out of bounds) and we ended up winning. I hate those arrogant bastards. You know I never lost to them….
Attendees: Come on Cardinals defense. We can’t drink anymore.
Alex: Holmes with the first down. And another. And another. Three more beers and three more whiskey shots. Don't quit on me now. We may be headed into OVERTIME.
Attendees: Make the bad man stop.
Alex: TOUCHDOWN SANANNNNNTONIO !!!!! Tequila time BITCHES !!!!!!!
Attendees: Alex, it looks like someone is towing your car....
|Feb 2nd, 2009|
Former Ohio State All-Big Ten offensive tackle Alex Boone was arrested late Sunday night in Aliso Viejo, Calif., after a drunken outburst in which police allege the 6-foot-8, 312-pounder was jumping up and down on the hoods of cars, attempted to smash the window of a tow truck and then fled police and had to be tasered twice in order to be subdued.
Boone was at his apartment after attending a Super Bowl party when the incident began after a car at his apartment complex was being towed. Police responded to a report of a man jumping on cars, and spokesman Jim Amormino of the Orange County Sheriff's Office said Boone was apprehended while hiding on a patio with a blood alcohol three times California's legal limit of .08, though Boone was not attempting to drive.
Amormino said Boone was shouting obscenities and resisting arrest and continued his belligerence during booking and as he was given medical care. A police report was not yet available, but Amormino said Boone was held on resisting arrest and could face additional charges.
For any long time MZone reader and Yost, if you are out there: Yes, that is in fact a Buckstache.