Local Ohio police are on the lookout for the person (or persons) that beheaded the statue of former US President James Garfield this weekend in Hiram.The sandstone statue dates back to 1914 and was recently placed in front of the new Hiram College Garfield Institute for Public Leadership building. It is unknown whether the head could be put back on the Garfield if it is found.
Garfield was a student of the college from 1851 to 1853 when it was still known as the Western Reserve Eclectic Institute. Later, he served as principal of the school, teaching Greek, Latin, mathematics and geology. He left the college in 1861 to serve in the Civil War were he became a US General. He had the second shortest tenure as a US President (6 months and 15 days). He was shot 4 months into his presidency and died from the wound 2 months later.Fearing the potential of "copy cat" crimes, local Pennsylvania police are standing by with loaded weapons.
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This concrete head walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender says "we don't get many concrete heads in here".
The concrete head says "yeah and at these prices, you're not gonna get many more".
(thank you. i'll be here all day. please tip your waitresses.)
It was later found at the Homecoming Parade mounted to the front of a Black Cadillac....
Inside the black caddy was an AK-47, a bottle of grey goose, and a lint roller.
...with each successive drink a new body part would emerge from the original head. After a complete body was visible one more drink was consumed. *POW*
All the body parts disappeared.
The bartender remarked, "You should have quit while you were a head."
whetty has redeemed himself! with the assist from phil
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