Lions Open Thread at Baltimore

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before

~ Edgar Allan Poe, The Raven

Happy Turkey Day

Let's make this the Lions Open Thread also.

Go LIONS !!! Beat the Packers !!!

YES !!!!!!!!

Lions beat the Brownies on the last play of the game. 38-37.
My faith in humanity is restored !

Lions Open Thread: Spawn Fantasy Football Update: Week 10

Editor's Note: BAH was not late with his homework. I was a lame administrator and kept running out of time to post this. This will also serve as today's Lions open thread -- since it's much better to live in our little fantasy world than to actually follow the Lions......

Spawn Fantasy Football Update: Week 10
Another week of fantasy football and NFL action. Hopefully I won't "Bellichik" my way through these highlights and disappoint an entire fanbase in the process. Seriously almost 2 minutes to go when you're leading by 6 and you go for it on 4th and 2 at your own 28 yard line? WTF?!? I haven't seen coaching like that since, well, every Clowns game. Speaking of great Clowns coaching here's your scenario:: You're down 16 with seconds to play and have one last play what do you do? A: Put your 3rd stringers in because this game was over before it even started? or B: Leave all your starters in, run some hook and lateral gimmick play, get THE ONLY player on your team who contributes every week injured possibly costing him his career, all while embarrassing yourself even more. If you went with B: your name is Erik Mangini and you will soon be looking for employment.

All bitching aside on to the FF. The blowout of the week went to SleepingwiththeEnemy against Bursley Busses. Sleeping put up a league leading 142 points to Bursley's 88. Bursley's team played exactly to their potential but it just wasn't enough to stop Sleeping's onslaught. Sleeping was lead by Reggie Wayne, Donovan "Chunky" Mcnabb and the Duh starter of the week the Baltimore Defense. Bursley had a great game from Reggie Bush but no one else on the team were able to step up.

The second and even bigger blowout of the week had Smooth Operators dismantle Zoltan's Heroes. Smooth is clearly Operating on all cylinders (Har Har) and is making their case for the top spot of the league. Zoltan's coming off a couple victories couldn't put anything together and only managed 79 points. Smooth has next years #1 fantasy pickup Chris Johnson leading all scorers with 35 points.

The closest game of the week had Bigasshammm finally getting another win over He Hate Me. He Hate was winning going into Monday night but Bigasshammm's squad still had Ray Rice against the Clowns defense and the rest was history. He Hate Me was let down by his receiving corps this week while Big's team is just a key player away from actually contending.

Finally Defenstrators wins again (yawn) over 9 Finger Freaks. It wasn't a great week for the Defenestration but they always seem to have those weeks when their opponents have even worse weeks. Tom Brady was a big plus for 9 Finger but Santana Moss and Willie Parker really let them down. Drew Brees only had a marginal day and Maurice Jones-Drew made every fantasy football owner scream when he took a knee at the 1 yard line ala Westbrook to shed time off the clock. That move in itself is quite baffling as your team is losing and you can score a TD to go ahead which is guaranteed. Why leave it on the feet of your kicker?

Playoffs start week 15 and Defenestrators are the first to secure their playoff spot. Bigasshammm's squad with their win this week has vaulted up into the final playoff position based on total points. There will be a few more changes before week 15 so it should get hot n heavy. Trade deadline is this Friday although I don't think we've had one trade. This week has the Ultimate Pillow Fight between the Clowns and the Cowardly Lions. I predict Lions by 17.

P.S. Don't be like me and forget that Thursday night games have begun! Get your rosters set early.

Lions vs. Wolverines? WE WIN !!!

Bummer bad football weekend, no??
How terrible bad are the Lions???
Well, it got me thinking....
What if we played the Lions, who would win??
So, I went and checked out each team's offensive stats.
(pun not necessarily intended....)

Dudes! Our offense's numbers are better than theirs AND our QB's numbers are better too ! WOOT WOOT

	UNIV. OF MICHIGAN	DETROIT LIONS
Total Offensive Yards	3,613	2,048
Offense: Avg Yds Per Play	5.8	4.4
3rd Down Conversions	46/119 (39%)	42/106 (40%)
Rushing Yds Per Play	4.8	3.8
Passing Yds Per Play	7.5	6.1
Touchdowns	37	12
Time of Possession	26:40	30:09

PLAYER	ATT	COMP	YDS	COMP%
Matthew Stafford	172	93	1,062	54.1
Tate Forcier	193	107	1,424	55.4
Daunte Culpepper	62	35	384	56.5
Denard Robinson	22	11	179	50.0

Heck....even our defense seems to stack up even with them!?

THE DEFENSE	UNIV. OF MICHIGAN	DETROIT LIONS
Total Yds Allowed	3,439	2,587
Avg. Yds Per Play	5.5	6.2
3rd Down Conversions	51/142 (36%)	28/76 (37%)
Rushing Yds Per Play Allowed	4.3	4.8
Passing Yds Per Play Allowed	7.0	7.9
Touchdowns	25	25
Time of Possession	33:20	29:51

So take heart, M-fans. All is not as bad as it seems.
Too bad we can't run the game on Madden or something just to be sure.....
If someone figures it out--lemme know!?