Head meets Explosion

Apparently, it doesn't take much more than a keyboard and internet access to become a Featured Columnist for the BleacherReport. Somehow this guy punches out about three articles a day, most of which appear to be mutated rejects from David Letterman's Top 10 think tank. Check out "10 Coaches Who Could Replace Rich Rodriguez". You have to hand it to this guy, of the 3400+ people that have read it, exactly zero have "liked it".

Warning: this is bad, real bad.

10. Desmond Howard : Exactly what Michigan needs, a new coach with exactly zero coaching experience.
9. Les Miles : He already has a "damn fine team". That ship has sailed and is never coming back.
8. Paul Johnson : I loved what he did at Navy, but I am fairly certain a run only triple option attack would work in this conference these days.
7. Pete Carroll : Now the NCAA violation seal is broken, why not go for some real lack of institutional control action.
6. Tyrone Willingham : I like Tyrone, but don't think a castaway from the wreck of the USS Notre Dame would be successful here either.
5. Lloyd Carr : Come on.
4. Chris Peterson : This is only one of the two names on this list I like.
3. Greg Schiano : Not exactly setting the world on fire these days at Rutgers, plus he already said no once.
2. Jim Harbaugh : Needs to do some bridge mending and install a brain to mouth filter, but along with Peterson, he is going to be an option should the search materialize.
1. Mike Leach : Perfect. If Rich Rodriguez did not work out, the old school alumni are sure to love this guy.

Friar Tebow

When I saw Tim Tebow's rookie training camp haircut last week, I did not think much of it. He isn't the first rookie to get hazed during his first season in the NFL and he won't be the last.

But then I attended a Padres game last night at PETCO Field in downtown San Diego. It suddenly occurred to me that if this professional football backup QB gig doesn't work out for him, he has other options....

Magic act

"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE"
- Dan Gilbert. MSU '82



Couldn't get Izzo? Couldn't keep LeBron? I am pretty sure Magic is looking for a comeback venue.

LeBronedict

I don't care about the NBA, but anything that makes so many Ohioans so unhappy is alright in my book.

In my opinion, the sport is a baby step above professional wrestling in terms of actual competition. The LeBron-athon of the last week has been so nauseating, I am actually looking forward to watching the World Cup soccer final.

Thankfully, I had some old episodes of Two and a half Men on my DVR and missed the hour long ESPN "decision" special last night. From what I could gather, it was compelling television.

<---- Now the fun starts. Besides the incredible letter posted by Cavs owner (and Sparty grad) Dan Gilbert, the reaction to this circus has been simply awesome. The new material provided by scorned buckeye state fans will fill the gap until football season starts.

My favorite this morning is from James on WaitingForNextYear.com: Lebron, you are a worthless piece of crap. Enjoy being the second banana to Wade for the rest of your sorry career. Thanks for hosting an hour-long special to stick a knife in your hometown’s back. Thanks for quitting in the playoffs last year. Thanks for leaving, so the Cavs can get an actual superstar who will win on his own, and not hold the city and team hostage.

The front page of the Cleveland Plain Dealer is nicely done. One thing I do know, LBJ had better brush up on his spanish.

Sleep well Cleveland.... Long live the King.

The wheels of the bus go round and round

This week has been about as exciting as a mid-May week can be for a Michigan college football fan. Without games actually being played, our unpretentious little program has once again been placed in the spot light. Regardless of your where your loyalty lies, this has been an exhausting week.

Rather than sit around and obsessively read only the Michigan perspectives, I always find it interesting to go out and read what our rivals/friends are saying about this mess. As you would expect, it is incredibly entertaining and enlightening. Here is a sample of what I found.

It comes as no surprise that our friends down south are basking in the sunlight of eternal and everlasting domination. The Ohio State football program has always dominated the Michigan football program and there is no reason to ever believe this will change.

Welcome to the Big Ten rich rod and Goodbye after this upcoming season. The spot light up there is too big for you i bet you wish you never left w virginia. Well we will always remember the 42-7 beatdown we laid on you in columbus and the beatdown you have coming in about 6 months. Go Bucks

I find it hilarious how obsessed the typical Sparty fan (and their coach is for that matter) is with ensuring Michigan is humbled. It really is funny considering they have won the last two games and haven't lost to us in basketball in a 100 years. As the direct decedents of the great King Leonidas and his heroic force of 300, I would expect a little more fearlessness from such a powerful group.

What would it take for you to feel humbled with regards to your crumbling football program? If 8-16 over two seasons and now a string of major NCAA violations didn't do it, I'm pretty sure nothing will.

Quite simply the best. Nothing sums up the hopelessly narcissistic Notre Dame fan better than this one. Yes Guilford, your loss last September had nothing to do with a pitiful defense, lack of discipline, and inept clock management.

I can't help but think how the Michigan game last season would have gone differently had the Skunkbears not had those extra hours. They were a young offense last year, and everyone knows that young players benefit the most from increased practice time. It takes a few weeks into the season for your team to gel, but perhaps less time if you're breaking the rules.

Penn State fans are not alone in turning this into a personal attack on RR. Interesting to note the recruiting edge these guys seem to think they have with a 1000 year old coach trying to lure star high school athletes to the big apple of central Pennsylvania.

I have no idea how any kid could ever actually want to play for Rich Rod He seems like the biggest scumbag on the Earth and would just as easily throw you under the bus to save his own skin as he would lie, cheat, and steal to get what he wants.

As much as I am looking forward to watching us grind Danny Hope into little tiny bits for years to come, I have to give it to this Purdue fan for his comment on Maize n Brew. This is pretty damn funny and so horribly true. For the record, if asked by the NCAA or Michigan AD, we will be honored to shut this place down for a year if it means this whole idiotic mess would go away.

How about this... The Michigan blogging legion must lose one member for one year. Come on, you guys have like 27 football blogs. I am surprised there isn’t one dedicated to kickers only. I cry Shenanigans!

And finally, this one from an Illini fan. Regardless on how you feel about Rich Rodriguez, his past record of building success following an initial transitional failure is well documented. I vote for Rising Phoenix, but then again, I am biased

I believe in some instances the NCAA finding a "lack of instiututional control" is more of Murphy's law and unintended results and consequences by the coaches and program; but with Rodriquez, it is difficult to take the high ground with him. What is the cliche, if you are going to be an arrogant rear end (based on what I have read), then don't expect much sympathy, when things go south.

Another side story to watch this season, will he be a Phoenix, rising from the ashes; or the Captain of a Titanic?

Yes, it is true, like the M compliance office and coaching staff, I proved a couple of days ago that I can't count very well. Football season starts in 100 days.

Surfing the Apocalypse

One of my favorite features in Sports Illustrated is This Week's Sign That the Apocalypse Is Upon Us. Nothing they can put in that spot can top this week's claim by SI naming Arkansas QB Ryan Mallett is the front runner for the #1 overall pick in the 2011 NFL draft.

ARE YOU F---ING KIDDING ME ???!!!???? I don't do facebook, but THIS popped up during a BING search. I think I would rather see Terrelle Pryor win the Heisman than that goofy mouth breather from Texarkana.

The conversation

Dave: Thanks for coming over to the office Coach. I know you are “busy with retirement” but we have another PR issue with Coach Rodriguez.

Lloyd: No problem Dave. I really wasn’t doing anything anyway today, and it is always good to see you and the athletic department staff. What is going on now?

Dave: Apparently someone wrote a book about one of your kids…. Trent…. Morgan Trent… it chronicles his path to the Cincinnati Bengals. The author is claiming that Coach Rodriguez was badmouthing Morgan’s work ethic and attitude to NFL scouts before the draft. He claims this dropped his draft status and cost him a lot of money.

Lloyd: Interesting. What does Coach Rodriguez have to say about this?

Dave: Well, Rich has told me and the media it is “ridiculous”. He claims he “said just the opposite about Morgan Trent to NFL scouts”. To be honest, I can't think of a single reason Rich would speak poorly of and undermine one of our own players. It would serve no purpose.

Lloyd: Well, we all knew this change was going to be hard. This just sounds like another salvo at Coach Rodriguez -- Nothing new. None of us should be surprised by this by now.

Dave: Wait Coach, there is more… the author is claiming you told Morgan Trent that Coach Rod was sabotaging his career in the NFL.

Lloyd: I did what?

Dave: I know, I know. The author is claiming you told Morgan that Coach Rodriguez hurt his professional football career.

Lloyd: Why would I go and do something like that? I have never even talked to this author. I had a conversation with Morgan some time ago. We discussed his disappointment with how late he was drafted. I tried to get him to recognize and take individual responsibility for his performance under Coach Rodriguez. I suggested this may have had a negative influence on the scouts view of his future.

Dave: I don’t know. It doesn’t make any sense to me either. This story has been picked up by the local news and the bloggers. Do you want to issue a statement?

Lloyd: No. I didn’t care what the media said about me when I was on the sideline AND I certainly don’t care now that I am retired. I don't even know what a blogger is. I learned a long time ago that anyone can write anything they want. It does not make it true. If someone calls me, I will tell them the truth. But I really don’t care to deny something that I did not say.

Dave: What about Morgan Trent?

Lloyd: Morgan Trent is a grown man. He is a professional football player. He can say and do what he wants. It sounds to me that he wants to help his friend sell some books. In the end, he has to live with the decisions and statements he makes. If he wants to make up excuses for his performance on the field and attempt to convince people that somehow his former coach is the culprit. I can't do anything about it. The truth is the truth. There are really only three people in the world that know what was said. Two of them have made definitive statements and the third wants to move on claiming it is "water under the bridge". You tell me who is telling the truth.

Gone Fishin...

I could not let a full week go by without posting something....

In honor of the now defeated Detroit Red Wings

Who let the cows out?

I could not let T9's great buffet post go without a little photoshop magic, featuring my favorite buckeye.

I strongly encourage you to go here and vote in the "Are you afraid of another cow attack?" poll. The current results show 51% (302 of 595) say YES. We need to swing the vote more in favor of "yes" to make the public more aware of the danger presented by these animals.

The REAL story not reported by the Buckeye news:
Last Wednesday two cows being transported to Ohio State’s Veterinary Hospital escaped and caused a chaotic two-hour round-up on the campus athletic fields next to Lincoln Tower.

OSU Police and university officials used at least seven police cars, a university tractor, a cattle prod and tranquilizers to corral the cattle. Head football coach Jim Tressel was called on the scene, but was unable to make a difference. The cows were being brought to the veterinary school to have their hooves trimmed, a regular procedure among some breeds of cows.

OSU veterinary staff didn’t have a long-range tranquilizer gun on hand, so they called officials at the Columbus Zoo, who sent an employee to tranquilize the second cow. Once the cow was tranquilized, police lassoed it and led it into a trailer.

After he was subdued, the cow was heard mumbling "Barwis" over and over.

You need to VOTE now !!!

On this day...

In 1429 Joan of Arc arrives on the scene to relieve the Siege of Orleans. In 1861 Maryland decides to not join the misguided southern rebels and secede from the Union. A year later, in 1862 the city of New Orleans falls to Union forces led by Admiral David Farragut. In 1863 publisher William Randolph Hearst was born. In 1899 jazz musician Duke Ellington was born followed two years later (1901) by Japanese Emperor Hirohito.

The Irish Easter Rebellion of 1916 ended. In 1934, Chicago White Sox Hall of Famer Luis Aparicio was born. In 1945 the Germans in Italy surrender to the Allied Forces. In 1951 NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt was born. In 1953 the first experimental 3D TV broadcast takes place in Los Angeles. In 1954 Jerry Seinfeld was born. In 1958 Michelle Pfeiffer was born. In 1963 Red Wings coach Mike Babcock was born. In 1967 Muhammad Ali is stripped of his boxing titles for refusing to enter the Army. In 1970 tennis star Andre Agassi and Uma Thurman were born. In 1975 US involvement in Viet Nam ended with the evacuation of Saigon. In 1980 Alfred Hitchcock died. In 1986 a non-juiced Roger Clemens (then of the Red Sox) strikes out 20 Seattle Mariners. In 1992 the Los Angeles riots start, sparked by the acquittal of the police officers that beat Rodney King. And in 2004 Oldsmobile build its final car, ending 107 years of production. Oh yeah... I was born on this day too.

Columbus Contaminant: C-bus spreading crap around??

Date: April 26, 2010
WASHTENAW COUNTY PUBLIC HEALTH CONTINUES
E.COLI OUTBREAK INVESTIGATION
Possible Link to Similar Outbreak in Ohio

YPSILANTI, Mich., April 26, 2010 — In cooperation with multiple agencies, Washtenaw County Public Health continues investigating an outbreak of food-related illness. Preliminary results from the Michigan Department of Community Health indicate that this is a toxin-producing E. coli non-0157 strain. Seven of the local cases have been confirmed as E. coli non-0157 and are related to one another. Fourteen cases are awaiting laboratory confirmation of E. coli. Persons reporting illness consistent with the outbreak were likely exposed between April 7th and April 15th and became ill between April 9th and April 16th. Persons typically experience symptoms three to four days after eating foods contaminated with E. coli.
The process of identifying common food sources is complex. Initial findings indicated ill persons were exposed at one or more local eateries. Additional evidence now indicates there may have been a problem related to the distribution of certain foods received locally. The Michigan Department of Agriculture is conducting a traceback to determine whether a common food distributor or supplier may be involved. Similar cases are also under investigation in Ohio. Columbus Public Health in Columbus, OH is reporting five confirmed cases of E.coli non-0157, with several more pending confirmation.
“Our investigation is progressing,” says Dr. Diana Torres-Burgos, MD, MPH, Medical Director of Washtenaw County Public Health. “Outbreaks like these are incredibly time-consuming and difficult, and we continue to share the information we can confirm.”
Symptoms of E. coli infection include abdominal cramping followed by diarrhea that progressively worsens and is often bloody. Typically, there is no fever. Anyone with similar symptoms should seek medical attention. Individuals are also asked to report suspected E. coli illness to Washtenaw County Public Health at 734-544-6700.
Most persons sickened with E. coli recover within a week; however, some infections can be serious. The non-0157 strain of E. coli identified in the outbreak is less common, but it is still capable of producing severe illness.
Proper hand washing, food handling and cooking are critical to preventing the spread of foodborne illness. The Washtenaw County Public Health Fact Sheet on E. coli is available at: http://www.ewashtenaw.org/government/departments/public_health/phcontent/cd_fact_sheets/ecoli.pdf

New Final Four logo

This evening, in celebration of both West Virginia and Michigan State getting to the Final Four, the NCAA released a new logo for the event.

5 things I like less than John Gravallese

I went to bed on Sunday night frustrated with the sudden and soul-crushing end of the Michigan hockey season. As a Michigan sports fan, you learn to deal with things like this -- I just woke up and went on with my day looking to find something else to focus on. It did not work. I needed to understand how and why it came to this. At the risk of sounding too much like a Penn State football fan, I needed to know more about this John Gravallese character. A simple google search turned up something from US College Hockey Online about the source of my pain. This interesting article included this terribly ironic quote:

“I just get my assignment, pack my bags and show up.... I try to blend in and let the game call itself.”

Really? You have no idea how much I wish that was true. Instead of letting this ridiculous anger go too far, I decided to get creative and make a list of five things I like less than the "senior man in Hockey East"

1) Raw onions: Sorry Mom, I can't stand them. There is no quicker way to ruin a sandwich or burger than laying a tastless foul smelling mistake on it. I generally like vegetables, but adding raw onions to a mixed salad is a crime. Want to destroy a tuna salad? add chopped onions. Looking to ensure there is left over pizza? add raw onions. The strange thing is I have no problem with cooked/sautéed onions and eat them when offered. But the raw crunch of an onion is unbearable for me.

2) Mr Met: As a lifelong Phillies phan, I am genetically predisposed to loath anything connected the National League franchise in New York . I was an undergrad at Michigan in 1986. It was bad. As a rule, I accept sports mascots as part of the entertainment package of live sporting events. When you really look at him, Mr Met is just plain creepy. Why is he always smiling? Clearly he has not watched his team play for the last couple of years.

3) Snakes: I live in Texas. It is hot here. Last summer I pulled into my garage and stepped out of my car. Something moved. It was a small harmless garter snake slithering about a foot from my safely covered toes. I yelped loudly. I quickly jumped away. Once I realized how foolish I looked, I grabbed a tool looking to kill my nemasis. Much to his benefit, he was gone. I have not gotten out of my car in the garage without looking down since.

4) Mark Dantonio: Worshiped by FDFP writers and long suffering Sparty football fans for his bravado -- I see Mark Dantonio as nothing more than a boorish moron. Time and time again he has delivered. Just a few: His memorable moment of silence comment after the Michigan loss to Appy State. Whining about Michigan players celebrating a win. Responding to Mike Hart by making fun of his size. Openly cheering for Ohio State when his team needed a Buckeye loss to have a chance at the Rose Bowl. Saying he would be embarrassed by only 3 wins minutes after getting crushed at Penn State. Allowing Glen Winston to join practice hours after being released from jail.

5) The wave: I refuse. It was fun the first couple of instances I saw it happen at Michigan Stadium. But that was in the 80's. Enough already. Pay attention to what is going on in the game. Stay focused on being loud and creating a home field advantage. Let it die.

Phew, I feel better.

Eagle Globe and Anchor

This has nothing to do with Michigan, college sports, or semi-naked women -- but still nothing short of pure awesomeness. I received this from a friend of mine and had to share:

A living Marine Corps emblem comprised of 100 officers and 5000 enlisted marines taken at the Marine Corps Barracks in Parris Island, South Carolina in the 1920s.

For those of you that have ever served in the Marine Corps... just try to image the amount of bitching that went on as this photo was been set up. Wow.

Sparty Manifesto

Brian linked to this at the bottom of his giddy M/MSU hockey playoff weekend recap. I felt it was so important, I decided to give it additional exposure and save it here for eternity.

The Humiliation, and Destruction of One of many Hockey Players by the Michigan State Hockey Coaching Staff: Rick Comley, Brian Renfrew, and Tom Newton. Provided via Spartantailgate College hockey fans, here we are, it's senior week. Where we usually celebrate and say farewell to the seniors on the MSU ice hockey team. But this year is very different. The class of 2010 was meant to be eliminated by this coaching staff. Just look around the arena - the seniors pictures usually found on the entrance doors of the arena have been put in a very obscure place, and disrespected by erecting a booth to block them. With the exception of Sucharski, of course, who was hated by many of the players for the last five years, but coach loves him, so go figure? The class lost a couple of players along the way, but three remained to be part of the team. But this writing's about #16 Justin Johnston. He left the team today, and couldn't take being humiliated and not dressing on senior night. He was recruited by this staff and accepted an the invitation to MSU proudly (as this is always where he wanted to be), but did so under the clear expectation that being in the line-up and playing were the most important thing. He had many choices of colleges to play for along the way, but dreamed of playing at MSU, and jumped at the chance to be here. His freshman year, the 2006-2007 national championship year, he played three games, was of course humiliated, and was given virtually no reason as to why this was happening. The next two seasons he saw limited ice time in order to prevent any type of meaningful development, and no promotion whatsoever, except for Ron Mason saying to Smiegel (Comley), "Why aren't you playing him?" Justin was given the most improved player award, to "make things look good," he was already very good. But the coaches had their foot on his head, and would not take off, while touting other equal or lesser players. Players said early on when he was a freshman, "I can't believe it, the players spend most of their time in the locker room planning Comley's death and laughing about it. The success of the team has nothing more to do with the coaches." Justin had nothing but the best coaches previous to MSU. Psych major? No, this coach has an authority complex and significant issues as a person in society, let alone a D-I hockey coach. (Are you kidding, the guy should be in the nut house.) Of course, this school does have convicts playing D-I sports, so why not have a nut-job as the head coach of your hockey team? It's really sad. Everyone knows he should have been fired four years ago, but the emergence of Jeff Lerg saved him, although everyone is sure that was a total surprise, and gift to him, that the team turned itself around that year and won the NCAA title. This coaching staff is clearly sick. Other premier programs don't treat their recruits this way. Justin has been a good kid, not drunk every night like the hockey house crowd. He has practiced hard to get past whatever false issues the coaches used. Johnson was given scholarship money his sophomore year, and was told in his junior and senior years would be paid for as well. He never saw a check after the first one, and they had the nerve to say, "Maybe if you played a little better, who knows?" Well, we sat back for four years, and took this crap, and we are all relieved it's over. But the damage has been done. So, we will be carrying the torch from now on for all the players/families (too many to mention) who just got screwed and kept their mouths shut. We promise! Go MSU players! - The Freshman Class of 2006

Who wants to take bets this was written by Johnston's girlfriend or Dad?

Something to consider

Honestly, it doesn't take much to get me to include KISS as a potential solution for our football nightmare... based on our performance over the last 2 years and the impact The Hottest Band in the World had on the 1974 Cadillac Vikings... it seems like a no brainer to me.



HT: GoBlueBob

Gold Medal Fashion

Once every four years the world gets the opportunity to watch curling. If you have never taken them time to watch, you are missing something. It may lack the speed and explosiveness of football, but it more than makes up for it with a laid back attitude, precision and intense strategy. For my money, there is no better sport in the world to sit down, relax and drink a lot of beer.

Quick lesson: Two teams of four players take turns sliding heavy, polished granite stone down a perfectly prepared sheet of ice towards a circular target (called the house). The goal is to complete each end (16 stones) closer to the center of the house. Two sweepers with brooms or brushes accompany each stone helping direct the stones to their resting place.

Typically you will see the curling teams uniformed in conservative attire. However, during these games the team from Norway decided to make a fashion statement. Instead of the normal black pants and patriotic shirt, they went with something a little louder. These pants from LoudMouthGolf.com have become one of the more interesting stories of the Vancouver Olympics and has been picked up from MSNBC to NPR.

All this buzz about these pants led me to check out the other available patterns and colors.

Warning, the LoudMouth web site is getting crushed right now because there was a feature story on the Today Show about the Norwegian Curling Team and their wacky pants -- but I got lucky and was able to locate a scarlet and grey pattern that I thought would look wonderful on the football fashion icon of the B11.

How awesome would it be to have Chesty McSweaterVest jog out onto the sidelines on September 2nd for the Bucks game against Marshall wearing these beauties ?

Olympic Smorgasbord

First, a moment of silence for Nodar Kumaritashvilia. Tragic.


Yes, just like the IOC, I too have decided that the silliness must go on:

• Like candy from a baby: USA women's hockey crushes the Chinese 12-1.
• Best dressed award goes to the team from the Nederlands
• Worst dressed? Azerbijan
• The biathlon is NOT the Nordic combined
• No, Jakov Fak's brother VatTa is not competing.....
• However, the luging Hyman brothers are...
  
• Magdalena Neuner has an unfortunate last name, even if she is a silver medal winner
• And, Ian Cockerline is sliding right thru the pipe.....
  
• MORE COWBELL!
  

Fight On

As a rule, we avoid recruiting here. I continue to see no upside in talking about high school kids before they ever play a down of college football. But this one is just to wacky to pass up.... plus he is not a high schooler, yet.

Late last week, Lane Kiffin and USC secured the verbal commitment from a 13 year old. Yes, I typed a 13 year old. This kid is not even in high school yet. He is 13. Apparently he has out of this world skills. He is 13. He looks like a hall of famer in the highlight video. He is 13. He is already breaking down NFL film. He is 13. He is already six feet tall. He is 13.

Who wants to take bets that Lane Kiffin will even still be the USC football coach in 5 years ?

I've played and watched a lot of sports in my life. I can't tell you the number of middle school all stars I've seen turn into non-factors in high school. I actually feel sorry for the kid. The paint on the bulls-eye won't even be dry in 2015, the year he is scheduled to arrive on USC's campus. He doesn't have any idea what his parents and personal (Dream Maker) QB coach just did to him. He now has to make it through 8th grade without getting injured or simply getting bored of football. Then high school begins, and all that entails.

This is sad. Some one needs to introduce these people to Todd Marinovich.

GroundHog's Day

Today is GroundHog's Day which gives me more than enough reason to pop in a clip of one of my favorite movies of all time. If you have never seen this movie, add it to your netflix queue.

I have some good news and some bad news for you. The bad news is that Punxsutawney Phil predicts six more weeks of winter. Booooooo. The good news is the National Climatic Data Center reportedly stated that over the last Phil's prediction's have been correct 39 percent of the time. Yessss!