Tasered

Last night in Philadelphia's Citizens Bank Park a drunk (and stupid) fan ran out onto the field, waved a rally towel around, and got tasered for his efforts. He falls flat on his face at about the 17 second mark. I love the reaction of Ryan Howard (Phillies firstbaseman), he is covering his mouth with his glove because he is laughing. There is no truth to the matter that the guy is Boubacar Cissoko.



The 17-year-old was charged with defiant trespass, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. According to a report in the Philadelphia Inquirer, he called his father to ask permission to run on the field prior to doing so. The father says he did not grant permission. The MLB site has a better video of the event, but it will not embed.

Sparty On 2010

"It's not the Spartans that are rioting. Usually, it's others that come here."

On notice. Not so double secret probation??

Aw crap. Really Rich?? Really.
I can't even think of anything funny to say......

I'm just going to poke my eyeballs out

Wild night at the Small Planet

Sparty redshirt freshman Myles White was charged this morning with urinating in public. This is a 90-day misdemeanor coupled with a minor in possession of alcohol, it carries a penalty of $100 plus court costs. The incident happened early in the morning of Nov. 22 at the Small Planet nightclub. This was the same event in which now former Spartan Glenn Winston got into in an altercation with a member of the Iota Phi Theta fraternity.

The next night, Winston gathered his posse and things were continued with the Iotas.

Sparty Crime Wave

MSU Campus Police are investigating a recent campus crime wave. Someone is stealing money from Michigan State's tampon machines. In the first 12 days of June at least six tampon dispensing machines have been pilfered. The total reported loss of at least $7.50 in unmarked change. The thieves have targeted machines in the the Chemistry and Human Ecology Buildings along with the Computer Center. Apparently this particular type of crime is a new trend according to MSU Police Sgt. Florene McGlothian-Taylor :

“Thefts from feminine-hygiene dispensers have been spotty in the past.”

Quite honestly, you can work in the news gathering business for 50 years and you just won't get a better quote from a campus police officer. But the opening sentence of the State News says it best:

"A heavy flow of break-ins and thefts from feminine-hygiene dispensers across campus led MSU Police to launch an investigation."

In an effort to help our friends within the Sparty Police Department, we here at the Spawn of MZone have gathered up some very interesting photos that might help with their ongoing investigation of this disturbing crime wave.

	It is very important with every police investigation that you first take a look at well known criminals that might have been in the area. It is very common to see a convict return to a life of crime after they are released or freed on bond awaiting trial.
	It is also important to take a look at organizations that associate with or encourage criminal activities. Getting to the top of these organizations takes time and patience.
	Your investigation should also not be limited to convicts and organized crime figures. Everyone could be a suspect and you need to be willing to look at everything -- including well known or iconic persons within the community
	It is also important to take a look at former celebrities that just can't seem to let go of their glory days. Quite often these people are drawn to a life of crime because it replaces the "rush" they once felt when they were stars.
	Also, you just can't focus on the obvious suspects. Criminals are not limited to one socio-economic class or background. As a criminal investigator you must force yourself to look beyond the outward appearance of professional success and wealth. Always remember: criminals can come from all walks of life.
	It is not uncommon to find your suspect hiding in broad daylight. Focus on the most obvious areas and public areas where there are a lot of transients. You need to be prepared to deal with persons with mental health issues including delusions and a history of psychopathic behavior.
	And finally it is very important that you involve the entire community in your search. It takes a village to catch a criminal. Put up wanted posters. Ask for local news coverage. Offer rewards. Sometimes the most difficult cases are cracked from tips collected by your average citizen.

(HT: new Spawn poster jimsflies)

Fake Jordans and 10 pounds of Pot

This story must somehow involve the NBA...

According the the Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Police Department has seized 500 pairs of counterfeit Air Jordans from the Halsted Indoor Mall after Nike complained. In addition to the fake sneakers, they also grabbed 10 pounds of marijuana. One of the men arrested was the store's owner, Nate Driggers, former Boston Celtic (he played 15 games during the 1996-1997 season). Counterfeit Air Jordans cost a customer $35 a pair, versus the $150 an authentic pair of the shoes costs.

No charges have been filed yet in connection with the marijuana found in the store.

Hiding Behind Momma's FERPA Skirts

A big ol' HT to SiC for finding this from, of all places, The Columbus Dispatch. twice. seriously, go read both of those articles before going further.

Apparently the self-righteous Buckeyes are hiding out while having their cake and eating it too. tUOS is one of the schools with the highest number of NCAA violations, most of them self-reported. BUT---the reports are limited, redacted, obscured, or otherwise non-informative because tUOS plays the FERPA card. That's right: the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act

It's a federal law crafted in 1974 that was meant to protect the privacy of student education records. The law applies to all schools that receive funds under an applicable program of the U.S. Department of Education. It's aka The Buckley Amendment. It means that students also have the right to see their own educational records and consent (or not) to have those records released to others. tUOS claims that if they release information then they will be at risk of losing all their federal funding....riiiiight.

One portion of the law however states:

"Generally, schools must have written permission from the parent or eligible student in order to release any information from a student's education record. However, FERPA allows schools to disclose those records, without consent, to the following parties or under the following conditions (34 CFR § 99.31):

• School officials with legitimate educational interest;
  
• Other schools to which a student is transferring;
  
• Specified officials for audit or evaluation purposes;
  
• Appropriate parties in connection with financial aid to a student;
  
• Organizations conducting certain studies for or on behalf of the school;
  
• Accrediting organizations;
  
• To comply with a judicial order or lawfully issued subpoena;
  
• Appropriate officials in cases of health and safety emergencies; and
  
• State and local authorities, within a juvenile justice system, pursuant to specific State law."

Now one would think that "specified officials for audit or evaluation purposes" would include the likes of NCAA officials. NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND. (shout out to Coach Corso recovering from a minor stroke btw). That would be wrong! That is private student information that just can't be shared!!! No matter that someone got money from a booster. REDACTED. Or that someone tested positive on a random drug test. WHITE OUT. Heck, the school can't even tell you who was on the team plane....shhh! we can't discuss such things in public.

Hmmmm...but what about those media guides??? (now of the unprinted variety) They have height, weight, high school, GPA, major, performance records etc etc about the athletes....where's the FERPA handcuffs for those revenue generating documents???
OHHHHH>>>> wait, never mind.

So, yeah, I say that tUOS (among others) is playing the self-righteous FERPA card as their very own huge loophole to avoid doing the right thing....
And as SiC pointed out to me, if the Dispatch is going to call the Bucks out you KNOW there's something to it.....

Fail

I highlight Penn State, Michigan State, and Ohio State football players when they have legal problems. As such, I would be a hypocrite if I ignored when Michigan players run into issues.

Senior Running back Kevin Grady has been jailed for seven days after pleading guilty to violating his probation on his drunken driving conviction from last summer

Grady failed to properly report to his probation officers and failed to complete 24 hours of community service, among other violations. Rich Rodriguez has not commented.

Obviously, I don't have all the facts and background, but if I were the head coach, this would be the last straw with Grady. He would immediately be a "former Michigan football player". There is absolutely no excuse for failing to perform court ordered service hours.

We are... stoned

You have to admit that it wouldn't really be a football off-season without a couple of Penn State football players getting busted for smoking dope and/or beating the crap out of someone on campus.

According to our friends at Black Shoes Diary, this one likely includes starting QB Daryll Clark. No charges have been pressed. No names released. But the address matches the University listing for Clark. I can only hope that the other three players that reside in that apartment are also starters.

Penn State University police searched the apartment where four football players reside on campus the night of the spring Blue/White game April 25, court papers say.

According to an application for a search warrant, police wrote that around 11:10 April 25, university police responded to apartment 4103 in the Nittany Apartments complex on campus to assist residence life with dispersing a loud party.

As soon as they entered the apartment, police say they could see marijuana "in plain view" in the kitchen and smell it throughout the apartment.

Brilliant.

Penn State opens their season on September 5th with the Akron Zips.

Edit: Black Shoes Diary is reporting that Clark no longer lives at that apartment. He moved out in the fall. The directory was not updated.

Another Buckeye DUI

Ohio State tailback Bo DeLande was charged with DUI on Tuesday. He was pulled over for making an illegal left turn at High and West 11th in Columbus. A breath test showed his blood-alcohol level .133 -- in Ohio, the legal limit is .08. To complicate his legal issues DeLande is only 20, so you add an underage drinking charge to the blotter. He is scheduled to be arraigned on Monday in Franklin County Municipal Court.

DeLande is a Buckeye walk-on and this would have been his third year with the program without playing a down. He was redshirted in 2007 and did not play at all in 2008.

This lack of playing time does not bode well for Bo's future with the Bucks. I expect Coach Tressel will make a shining example about how tough and disciplined the Ohio State football program is and dismiss him from the program.

There is a reason they call it DOPE...

Navorro Bowman is an idiot. He may have been Penn State's leading tackler, but he is not very smart.

In October 2007 he participated in one of several Penn State football fan stomps. He had only one month left on his probation. But then he admitted to his probation officer that he had smoke pot (twice) while on probation. Including once before the Rose Bowl.

The judge was not happy... and Bowman will now serve an additional year of probation. He was promised that another "slip" will earn him 6 months in prison. To add insult to injury, Navorro had an outstanding speeding ticket and had not performed a single hour of the one hundred hours community service he was ordered. Brilliant.

Penn State Head Football Coach Joe Paterno had "no comment" -- likely because Paterno because can't seem to recall ever actually meeting or talking to Navorro Bowman. "All these players... they seem to blend together in my mind..."

Penn State fans are lighting up message boards everywhere claiming the judge assigned to the case is a most likely a "Wolverine fan with a clear anti-Penn State bias". There have been claims that the judge even wears a Michigan jersey under his robe.

Some are even suggesting that the Penn State football program should simply pack up and leave Happy Valley altogether... because the attitude towards standard football player behavior has changed so dramatically and it is "impossible to get a fair trial in this town."

Green until you die

It was a quiet night in East Lansing as only 15 people were arrested following MSU’s loss to North Carolina in the basketball championship game. The majority of those arrests were for disorderly conduct. Some people were arrested on arson-related charges (cop-speak for burning couches).

The Lansing State Journal spent last night and early Tuesday morning documenting the events as they happened at the epicenter of the Sparty riot volcano. Some brilliant quotes I wanted to share:

8:00 PM MSU police “Traditionally a win is much easier for us.”

9:08 PM after MSU took an early 3-2 lead “It’s over”

10:40 PM "We're Spartans, We're green until we die. It's not over until it's over."

11:10 AM “It’s just 4,000 people looking at five people, throwing beers."

1:05 AM "Win or lose, this is East Lansing, We're in the national spotlight, That increases the value of my degree. There were millions of people watching my team get whopped by the best team in the nation"

"It's a legitimate excuse not to go to class."

1:40 AM when the police started breaking up the crowd "It's not right, Nobody got hurt. Everybody was having a good time. When somebody fell down, we picked them up and kept on going.”

East Lansing: Brace yourselves

I fell in to a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down
and the flames went higher.
And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire
The ring of fire.
~ Johnny Cash

Tonight is the night. Couches, sofas, and ottomans throughout the state capital area brace themselves for the title game tonight. I guess either way these innocent pieces of furniture are screwed. Spartans win: things will burn. Spartans lose: things will burn.

East Lansing Police claim they are prepared. They are going to have 230 officers on duty tonight. As if that will make any difference. Following Sunday's win East Lansing Police Chief Tom Wilbert remarked "We had a peaceful celebration of a great MSU win, I am proud that our students celebrated with class, and I am proud of the way that our officers handled this situation."

Yes, really classy. According to the same article East Lansing Police arrested about 60 people that night. A normal East Lansing night yeilds 10 to 15 arrests. Celebrating Sparty fans were arrested for a variety of offenses, including throwing objects, indecent exposure, attempted arson and assault. Several couches were set on fire shortly after MSU's win, but according to police, they were quickly extinguished and placed back into their homes for tonights game.

You stay classy East Lansing.

Down and OUT

As we get ready to watch Sparty play in the Final Four, it is important to remember that not everyone pulling for the Green and White is happy and comfortable today. We need keep former MSU football player Plaxico Burress in our prayers as he searches for the next step in his life.

In case you did not hear : Plax was released from the NY Giants yesteday.

"I am an optimist, and I believe most situations can be worked out,We hung in there as long as we could in hopes that there could be a resolution to this situation other than the decision we made today to release Plaxico. It wasn't to be, so now we have to move on. Like everybody else here, we want nothing but the best for Plaxico and we are appreciative of the contributions he made to this franchise."
~ Giants GM Jerry Reese

I am sure Plax will get another shot in the NFL (please not the LIONS) -- he is just too gifted to be ignored. Imagine Plax and T.O. on the same team in Buffalo ?

Buckeye Barstool

And who says that Buckeyes are dumb ? Could a dumb person do this ??

An Ohio man has been charged with drunken driving after crashing his motorized bar stool. On March 4th, Police responded to a report of a crash in Newark (30 miles east of Columbus). They found a man with injuries who had wrecked a bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower. He was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated after he told an officer at the hospital that he had consumed 15 beers. Apparently the bar stool can go up to 38 mph.

Anticipating his upcoming move to a new city following the NFL draft next month, former Buckeye offensive lineman Alex Boone immediately ordered an extra large version of the stool.

HT: EDSBS

Sparty Choices

Updated news from CELL BLOCK S.

Former Michigan State (and Detroit Lions) WR Charles Rogers is headed back to jail.

Apparently he falsified records stating that he attended AA meetings, he failed court-ordered substance abuse tests and finally decided that a special court for addicts was not for him. As a result he was ordered back to the Oakland County Jail, hoping for a mid-April release.

All jokes aside, this is really a sad story. I can't imagine being offered a choice between rehab and jail... and then choosing jail. Methinks this is not the last we are going to hear of Charles Rogers in the coming months. I just hope he does not hurt else anyone with his stupidity.

Boz Busted

Former Oklahoma All American (and infamous NFL bust) Brian Bosworth was arrested in Los Angeles early Friday morning for allegedly driving his Harley Davidson under the influence of alcohol. The arrest happened at 3:30AM, adding yet another example (I think this is now number 432 ?) on why nothing ever good happens on the streets past 1AM.

Sources state that THE BOZ was initially pulled over by LAPD officers for not having a license plate on his motorcycle. The cops smelled alcohol, and he failed the breath test.

I don't know. I may be a little too old fashioned, but in my mind there is no logical reason in the world to explain why a 43 year old man is driving an unlicensed Harley down Hollywood Boulevard at 3AM in the morning. It is not like he was going to pick up a hooker on his bike and get any action.

Bosworth is the only two-time Butkus Award winner in college football history. In 1987 he became one of the first famous athletes to be linked to steriod use, he was suspended for the Sooners' 1987 Orange Bowl game. This motorcycle incident will likely be regulated as the second most famous Harley experience The Boz is remembered for...

The first, of course, has to be the classic motocycle taking down the helicopter in the 1991 action film: Stone Cold.

Riding Dirty

Lost in all my Ryan Mallett fun yesterday was the news that another two buckeye football players were cited in January and will be in court this week. This is really a gray area, because they were technically not arrested -- the JT total holds steady at 31 arrests.

Mike Adams and JB Shugarts, a pair of Ohio State linemen will be in court this week to face misdemeanor charges of possession of drug paraphernalia (OSU message boards are claiming it was bong). They were cited on Jan. 14 after being pulled over for running a stop sign in the campus area. Each has pleaded not guilty.

I am not to going pretend to be shocked that college kids don't smoke pot or this is a big deal. It is not going to lead to a dramatic fall from grace of the OSU football program. Stuff like this happens in Ann Arbor and it happens in Columbus. I get it. I guess the failed IQ test comes from riding around in a car with a bong. What the hell are you thinking ?

And... no the semi-nake stripper girl was not in the car, I just couldn't find a better bong picture anywhere.

Edit: Mike Adams had his day in court yesterday -- the charges were dimissed. I expect JB to get the same. Congrats guys, innocent until proven guilty. Now get the bong out of your car.

It is 3:30AM, Do you know where your QB is ?

Former Michigan (and current Arkansas) QB Ryan Mallett got into trouble early sunday morning. He was arrested on a public intoxication charge outside of a bar near campus.

The 20-year-old Mallett was booked into the Washington County Jail at 3:47AM after Fayetteville police arrested him on Dickson Street. Mallett was released on bond about an hour later, but not after he took this epic mugshot. Razorback Football coach Bobby Petrino said he would be disciplined.

From the NWAnews.com: According to the report, (Fayetteville police officer Timothy) Shepard noticed that Mallett could not stand up straight, had blood-shot and watery eyes and a heavy odor of intoxicants on his breath. Shepard also detected the faint odor of burnt marijuana coming from Mallett's person. Shepard stated in the report that Mallett's voice was extremely slurred and at times his speech was incoherent.

When asked by Shepard if he had been smoking marijuana, Mallett said that he had not, according to the report. When asked if he had been around those smoking marijuana, Mallett said he had, according to the report.

Shepard stated in the report that Mallett lost his balance and had to step back to regain his composure several times during their conversation. During a field sobriety test in which the officer asked Mallett to follow his moving finger with his eyes, Mallett lost his balance and nearly fell backwards, according to the report.

Shepard said in the report that he told Mallett to call for a ride home. Mallett made several calls but was unable to make contact with anyone. Shepard noticed that Mallett appeared to lose focus during his attempts to make the calls and that he began to stare off into the distance before again attempting to make a call.

Mallett was released on $155 bond. His probable cause hearing is at 10:30 a.m. Monday in Fayetteville District Court.

This is example number four hundred thirty one on why it is never a good idea to be outside past 1AM. It has taken me about 20 years to learn this: Nothing good ever happens on the streets between 1AM and 5AM.

There is no truth to the rumor that Mallett fumbled the phone at the police station when he was calling his Dad for bail money.

Justice is served!!!!

You may recall this story from the AP back in October:

THOMAS TOWNSHIP, Mich. — Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash. The Saginaw News reports the 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was arrested Thursday in Saginaw County's Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit. Police Sgt. Gary Breidinger says a resident called to report suspicious activity at the car wash about 6:45 a.m. An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act. The suspect, whose name wasn't immediately released, is being held in the Saginaw County Jail.

Well, the swift arm of justice has avoiding going 'back and forth' on this one.......(heh heh)
Jason Leroy Savage has apparently pled "no contest" to the charges. His lawyer had no comment
Not sure if that means he admits his hose was small enough to fit into the one at the car wash or not!
Stay tune for the sentencing on March 25th.
Whaddya think??? 40 lashes with a wet noodle???