December 20th, 2000 -- Youngstown, Ohio.{Knock, Knock, Knock }
Devil: Jim Tressel, this is Satan. I’ve got a problem with my favorite college football team. My friend Woody said you would be the best man for the job. I want you to coach the Ohio State football team.
Jim: Yeah right. I am already the coach at Youngstown State. I have won multiple National Championships with the Penguins. I am very happy here. Why would I ever want to leave here? Besides, John Cooper is the coach at Ohio State.
Devil: I have already arranged for Cooper to be fired. He isn’t the guy for this job. Sure he wins a lot of games, but that is not enough. I tried to give him a chance, but he just can’t seem to beat Michigan.
Jim: Well, this could be interesting. What do I get in exchange for taking over the Buckeyes?
Devil: First of all, I will grant you immunity against all of your transgressions here at Youngstown. No one will ever be able recall the unpleasant things you did while you were building that program. No one will ever connect Youngstown’s lack of institutional control and your coaching legacy. Once you take over in Columbus, I will ensure that you get all of the top recruits. They won’t even have to go to class. I will take care of all the gifts. You will never have to worry about getting implicated in any of their criminal behavior. The gullible people of Ohio will be enchanted by your senatorial approach and winning ways.
Jim: Is that it?
Devil: OK, I will give you the largest athletic budget in the country. I also deliver to you a National Championship almost immediately after you take over. Over the years I will present you with many Big Ten championships and you will go to a nice bowl game each and every year. The national press will be like awe struck children at your feet. The only thing I ask is your SOUL.
Jim: And....are you not you missing something ???
Devil: OK, OK, OK…. I will make sure that you beat Michigan A LOT.
Jim: Deal.
Devil: Jim Tressel, this is Satan. I’ve got a problem with my favorite college football team. My friend Woody said you would be the best man for the job. I want you to coach the Ohio State football team.
Jim: Yeah right. I am already the coach at Youngstown State. I have won multiple National Championships with the Penguins. I am very happy here. Why would I ever want to leave here? Besides, John Cooper is the coach at Ohio State.
Devil: I have already arranged for Cooper to be fired. He isn’t the guy for this job. Sure he wins a lot of games, but that is not enough. I tried to give him a chance, but he just can’t seem to beat Michigan.
Jim: Well, this could be interesting. What do I get in exchange for taking over the Buckeyes?
Devil: First of all, I will grant you immunity against all of your transgressions here at Youngstown. No one will ever be able recall the unpleasant things you did while you were building that program. No one will ever connect Youngstown’s lack of institutional control and your coaching legacy. Once you take over in Columbus, I will ensure that you get all of the top recruits. They won’t even have to go to class. I will take care of all the gifts. You will never have to worry about getting implicated in any of their criminal behavior. The gullible people of Ohio will be enchanted by your senatorial approach and winning ways.Jim: Is that it?
Devil: OK, I will give you the largest athletic budget in the country. I also deliver to you a National Championship almost immediately after you take over. Over the years I will present you with many Big Ten championships and you will go to a nice bowl game each and every year. The national press will be like awe struck children at your feet. The only thing I ask is your SOUL.
Jim: And....are you not you missing something ???
Devil: OK, OK, OK…. I will make sure that you beat Michigan A LOT.
Jim: Deal.
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13 comments:
I feel a song coming on... Instead of Devil with the blue dress it would be "Devil with the sweatervest"......
It must be the week of "The Game."
I smell sulphur.
wv = beatmichigan
The Devil Went Down to Columbus?
i don't know. pretty sure Tre$$el had already sold his soul when he went to YSU & won several D-IAA titles (his recruiting scandals there were well documented when the Clarett debacle unfolded).
w/ nothing left to barter, maybe he sold his children's souls for the tosu job???
doesn't seem too out of character given his jimmy swaggert schtick on the side.
And some positives....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnSOwvj24M0
Bob I tried sending you another test email. Not sure if you got it. If so hit me an email back and I will send over the rest of the pics. If not I sent an email to both T9 and Barry (616goblue) to email you my new address so you can email me and we can make sure this internets thing is working properly.
Devil: Jim, one more thing.
Jim: What?
Devil: You have to dress like Mr. Rogers.
wait, i thought Jim Tressel IS the devil?
wv:getalife
"doesn't seem too out of character given his jimmy swaggert schtick on the side."
I didn't know he had a law degree. Huh.
Posted 20 some pictures on the Spawn Yahoo Group from the Northwestern game and my tailgate with GoBlueBob. Thanks again for the invite and hope to see you there next year. Still working on the email problems.
Yay UM basketball!!!
Hooray for big upsets of a top ten team! How about 1 more?
How about TWO more?
Like one tomorrow night and one on Saturday in football?
GO BLUE!
Hooray for one former WVU Head Coach!
Lets hope another former WVU coach can pull the upset!
Either way it still GREAT TO BE A MICHIGAN WOLVERINE!
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